


as time goes by

by sochra



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Depression, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-03-25 20:29:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3823924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sochra/pseuds/sochra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander hates his life on the hellmouth. He just wishes do be somewhere where people love him. We all know what happens when you wish on a hellmouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

So to make this clear I don’t own any thing!!!  
This will be slash (male/Male)  
I’m dyslectic and English isn’t my first language so pls forgive me for mistakes I like to thank my beta for willing to proof read this stuff.  
That’s about all the thing you need to know so enjoy. 

Prologue: 1997  
Xander was furious. How dare that bloodsucker offer him to that bleached wonder? He was a part of the team, not some happy meal on legs for Billy idol wantabes. He hated his life, his friends saw him as a beast like all the things that go bump in the night, and his parents thought of him as a waste of food and space.  
Xander hit the nearest thing, which happened to be a stone wall.  
“Fuck!” Xander screamed.  
Cradling his hand, he sat down against the wall. “I wish I was somewhere people wanted and loved me.”  
He sighed. Out of nowhere, a dark figure appeared.  
“As you wish so it shall it be,” The demon said.  
Xander jumped up ready to run away as fast as he could. When suddenly, he had the feeling that was the same as if someone hit his head with a baseball bat and then everything went black.


	2. chapter 1

So to make this clear I don’t own any thing!!!  
This will be slash (male/Male)  
I’m dyslectic and English isn’t my first language so pls forgive me for mistakes I like to thank my beta for willing to proof read this stuff.  
That’s about all the thing you need to know so enjoy.  
_Italics= thoughts_

  
Chapter 1: 1874 (Xander 16/ William 21)

  
When Xander woke up his back was wet and hurt like hell. The same went for every other part of his body, especially his head. But it wasn’t the pain that had woken him up. Somebody was tapping his cheeks.  
“Sir? Excuse me sir are you alright?” Xander heard a voice that reminded him a little of Giles asking him.  
When he opened his eyes, he saw a soft face and blond, soft looking curls. The boy in front of him looked like he was 18 and he was beautiful. “I didn’t just think another boy was beautiful,” Xander thought.  
“You are awake? Great. Can you stand?” the boy asked. Xander sat up, just to see the world spinning around him.  
“Take it easy,” the stranger said. “It looks like you have a nasty head wound. Give me a sign when you’re ready to stand.”  
When the world stopped spinning, the other teen help Xander up. Xander was standing with the boys arm around his waist, and his arm around the blond’s neck. Through the wet fabric of his shirt, Xander felt the warmth of the boy’s body. In an instant Xander felt safe. Xander knew it was ridiculous feeling safe in a stranger’s arms. No matter how cute he was. _“And I really need to stop thinking of him as cute and beautiful. I’m not gay. Well maybe for Johnny Depp, but who isn’t gay for that one?”_  
“Don’t worry,” the boy holding him said. “My house is just down the road. You can rest there.”  
The boy was right, his house was only three houses down, but because of Xander’s spinning head it took them almost fifteen minutes to get there. They entered the house through the kitchen. A woman about the same age as his own mother was standing with her back to them.  
“Willy? Is that… Oh my. What happened to him?” the woman asked when she turned around.  
“I don’t know mother,” the blonde said. “I found him down the road. It looks like he has a head wound.”  
“Oh dear poor boy. Bring him up to the guest room so we can clean him up and look at his injuries.”  
The boy pulled Xander up some stairs. When Xander was put in a bed, he immediately fell asleep.  
When Xander woke up this time, he was considerately more conferrable then the last time. His head still hurt like hell and he had an uncomfortable feeling in his right leg. But he was warm, and as long as he lay still, his back and ribs didn’t hurt as much as before. The room wasn’t spinning anymore. That must be a good sign. After around ten minutes, the door opened. The blond boy walked in.  
“You’re awake,” the teen said. “How are you feeling?” he asked with a shy smile.  
“Better,” Xander said. “Thank you.”  
“It’s nothing. Couldn’t leave you for dead,” the other said. “I’m William by the way. William Pratt.” William held out his hand.  
“I’m Alexander Lavelle Harris. But my friends call me Xander.” He introduced himself.  
“Lavelle? You’re French?” William asked.  
Xander laughed. “No. I’m a California boy born and raised,” he told the boy in front of him.  
“You are from America?” William asked him.  
“Yeah, aren’t we in America?”  
The blond gave Xander a strange look. “No we are in London,” he said.  
“I’m in England? How did I get here?” Xander thought while looking around.  
He realized that when he looked at the furniture it reminded him of Giles’ antique chair. His eyes drifted to the boy next to him. The boy’s clothes didn’t look anything a teen from 1997 would wear. Xander felt uncomfortable  
. “William? What’s the date?” he asked.  
“Thirty-first of October,” William answered.  
“What year?”  
At that William gave him a weird look. “1874,” he said.  
Xander paled. “No no no!” he whispered.  
“Alexander? Are you alright?” the other boy asked him.  
When Xander looked up, he saw worry in the boy’s eyes. His chest heated up when he saw the concerned way that he looked at him.  
“Yeah,” Xander said. “Just tired. Maybe I will remember more after some sleep.”  
William looked a little disappointed. But he still smiled at him. “Of course, you have a lot of healing to do.”  
Before William left, he squeezed Xander’s shoulder. The warmth Xander felt when the boy held him returned. “Thanks William.” Xander told him, right before the blond left. William smiled at him.  
When Xander was left alone, he started to think thing through. He was trying to make a plan. _“Okay, the facts first. I’m apparently not in Sunnydale any more. I’m not even in my own time. For some reason William makes me feel save. And last but not least, I have no idea if and how I can return to my own time. I can’t tell what happened to William and his mother. I need a story. They always told me that the best lies are close to the truth. So I leave demon’s and time travel out of it and tell them I got hit in the head and have no idea how I got here.”_ Xander felt pleased with his plan. He turned around in the comfy bed and fell asleep. The next week was more of the same. Xander would wake up and most of the time, William was sitting next to his bed. They talked about all kind of stuff. Well William talked while Xander listened and saved all the information he could use to survive in this time.  
After three day’s Mrs. Pratt vised him. The visit was strange, to say the least. The woman sat by his side just like her son did. “So a visitor from the hellmound?” she asked him the minute he opened his eyes.  
Xander felt shocked. “How did she know?” Apparently his thoughts where written on his face, because Mrs. Pratt smiled while laying her hand on his shoulder. The same way her son always squeezed when he left Xander’s room.  
“Don’t worry I’m not a demon, and I know you are human too,” she said.”  
“How?” was all Xander managed to say.  
“I lived there once,” she said. “I had a twin sister. She got her calling when we were thirteen. She left for America and I followed like I always did. We lived in Sunnydale for five years before a vampire got her. She made me promise I wouldn’t stay to fight, but that I would take Harold back to England. Harold was her watcher; he was only three years older than we were and Cassie knew we had feeling for each other. So I did as I promised and came back. Harold and I got married. Three years later, when William was only 2 months old, Drusilla, the vampire that got Cassie, found us. She was mumbling about the stars that told her she didn’t kill the whole slayer. Harold saved us. He didn’t kill her, but he was able to erase part of her memory right before she broke his neck.”  
Xander had stayed quiet during Mrs. Pratt’s story. Now that she apparently was done, he felt free to ask her something. “But how did you know I came from there?” he asked the older woman.  
“Cassie and I were twins. Identical twins to be exact. Well almost identical. I don’t have a slayer’s strength or healing ability. But I have the same kind of instinct when it comes to the magic stuff. I can feel it, just like I can feel demons. An hour before Will brought you in my instincts went crazy. I just knew something magical happened. Then Will brought you in and you just smelled like hellmouth.” At that Xander uncomfortable smelled his own armpits. Mrs. Pratt laughed. “Don’t worry the smell is almost gone. But your magic is cleaning that up as we speak.”  
At that Xander felt the need to correct her. “No. No magic in the Xan-man 100% completely normal. Nothing mystical about me. Just plain normal Alexander Harris,” he told her. Mrs. Pratt smiled at Xander’s babbling.  
“Oh. My boy how wrong you are. You have one of the strongest magical cores I ever felt,” She told him. Xander didn’t believe her as far as he could throw her. But he wasn’t about to go telling the woman who was looking after him that she was nuts. So he changed the subject.  
“Does William know?” he asked her. She shook her head.  
“Harold and I didn’t want to burden him with the knowledge. We would have told him when he was old enough to enter the watcher program, but then his father died and I wanted him to live a normal life as long as possible.”  
Xander just nodded. Mrs. Pratt and Xander talked for another hour or so about life on the helmouth. Right before she left, she took one of Xander’s hands between her own.  
“You know what my biggest wish is?” she asked the boy in the bed. Xander shook his head no. “I always wish William would be truly happy. All his life he looked like he missed something. But this last week I didn’t find that sadness in him anymore. Please don’t let fear and other people ruin that. Ok Alexander?” Xander just blinked while Mrs. Pratt stood up and left his room, leaving alone with his thoughts.  
Xander freaked out for about two hours before he just gave in to his feelings. He was falling fast and hard for the blond. It wasn’t just his looks. When Xander got to know the other better, his feelings just grew. When William had told him he was twenty-one Xander didn’t believe it at first. He looked so innocent. Probably a result of a demon free life. “William may be a little shy but when he talked about stuff like poetry he just seems to grow,” Xander thought. “That passion the boy held inside of him. How would it be to have that directed on him? Those blue eyes’ looking at him like he was the only thing in his world. Williams’s ink stained hands on his body.”  
That thought went straight to his crotch. He led his own hand travel down, imagining it was Williams’s hand. It was messy and fast, and after only three strokes, Xander came with Williams name on his lips. After a vised to the bathroom, his brain started to work again. “So apparently I’m in love with William. It doesn’t sound as weird as I thought it would. I have his mother blessing or at least I think I have. But how do I get him to feel the same. These aren’t exactly liberal times. If I just come out and say how I feel I will scare the crap out of him. He probably never wants to see me than.” That thought made his chest hurt. “So if I can’t have him as a lover I will keep him as close as possible so that he will be my friend. No, my best friend. Maybe in time my feelings will be returned.”  
So that was his plan, love the other boy and hope for more than friendship one day. It hadn’t worked with Buffy, but maybe the universe would throw him a bone for once. When he exited the bathroom, the object of his thoughts was sitting beside his bed. “Hey. How are you today?” the blond asked him, that shy smile on his face. The concern in his voice made Xander feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He almost spilled the beans right there, telling the boy “I love you.” But he swallowed the words right before he spoke them.  
“Great. Thank you,” he said instead. “I was wondering if you could lend me some clothes. I would like to go out today. But I don’t think an undershirt is the best choice for that.”  
William smile grew wider “Of course. Come with me; you’re a little wider in the shoulders, but Mrs. Jenkins next door always gives me her son’s clothes. I think we can find something that fits there.” Xander smiled and followed the blond to his room.


	3. chapter 2

So to make this clear I don’t own any thing!!! This will be slash (male/Male) I’m dyslectic and English isn’t my first language so pls forgive me for mistakes I like to thank my beta for willing to proof read this stuff. That’s about all the thing you need to know so enjoy.

_Italics= thoughts_

Chapter 2: 1875 (Xander 17/ William 22)

Xander was walking home. He was quite happy whit his new life. Mrs. Pratt got him a job as an apprentice with a master woodworker. To his own surprise he was very good at it. She also got him a room. It was small but clean. The owner liked him so he always got someone to talk to when he went down to eat. Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday he trained with Edmund Gilles. Edmund taught him different fighting style his muscles where building up from all the hard work and training. Mrs. Pratt wanted him to see a friend of hers about his magic, but Xander still didn’t believe he had any, so he didn’t see the point in it. Xander loved the low demon population of his new home. He didn’t go out without a stake, but he didn’t need it all that much; one or two times a week instead of every night was I big improvement in his books. William and he where great friends, he never had a friend like him before. And he loved it. William waited for him at the towns square every evening. They would walk together to the pub where his room was above. Some nights they just stayed downstairs having a few drinks. Or a game with the other towns men. Other nights they went straight up. They would sit in his room while William read his poems to him. Xander loved those nights as much as he hated them. Listening to Williams’s soft voice was the most relaxing thing ever, but he needed to stay focused or he would blur out his feelings and never see his love again. It hurt to be around him, but he knew it would hurt more to be alone, so he spoke as little as possible on those nights. He was walking to the square when he heard the same voice he was fantasizing about screaming. Xander started running towards the screaming. When he arrived, he saw three vampires cornering William. Xander felt a rage flowing through his body.

“Nooo,” He screamed. A surge of power went through him and three stakes of pure white light came out of his hands. Each one found a vampire and turned them to dust. Xander didn’t take the time to wonder about this. He went straight to the boy huddling in the corner.

“Oh my god, Lee? Are you okay?” William just looked at the brunet in front of him.

“They bit me,” He stammered. “And then their faces. And you…. Lex? Are you an angel?” Xander smiled at William.

“No love, I’m not an angel.” Xander hauled William up and put his arm around the blond’s waist. He brought the boy to his room. After that he sent a message to Mrs. Pratt explaining her son knew about the things that go bump in the night. And the fact that he was too weak to go home meant that he would stay at Xander’s for the night. The boy in his bed had lost a lot of blood. But at least it wasn’t enough to make him pass out. Blue eyes where locked on Xander’s every move. Xander put a glass of water against William’s lips. When he pulled away, Williams hand grabbed his wrist. Xander felt his hart clenched.

“Lex,” William began. “I thought I was going to die.” Xander wanted to say something, but William shook his head no. “Lex. I’m not stupid. I read enough to know what they were. If you weren’t there I would be dead. I knew I was gonna die. And you know what the scary thing was?” William asked him. Xander just shook his head. “The scary thing wasn’t dying but to know that you didn’t know what you meant to me. You’re probably going to hate me after this, but I need you to know.” Xander was waiting for the rest of Williams’s speech when he felt the blond pull him down. Xander felt soft lips caressing his. It was over in less than a second. William looked at his hands mumbling excuses. “I’m sorry Lex. I think I love you.” After saying this, William closed his eyes he didn’t want to see the hate in Xander’s eyes. When he felt a hand on his cheek, it wasn’t the slap he expected, but a soft cares on his cheekbones.

“Lee open your eyes, please.” Xander whispered. Slowly, William opened his eyes; when they were completely opened, Xander lowered his head and kissed the blond. This one lasted until Xander was in need of air. His hand stayed on the others cheek and he smiled while he lifted his head.

“Lee. You never apologize for love,” he told William. “I love you more than anything. Now please sleep. You need it. We will talk more when you wake up,” he promised. William smiled and closed his eyes.

“Don’t let me go, Lex,” the poet whispered before drifting off to sleep. Xander didn’t sleep that night. He just smiled and looked at his beautiful boy’s face. Finally something was working out for him. Somebody loved him as much as he loved them. The next day was a Sunday so Xander didn’t need to go to work. He and his boy could spent the whole day together. That thought made Xander smile even more. William woke up with a smile on his face.

“Hi,” Xander whispered, pushing a curl back behind Williams’s ear.

“Hello,” William smiled back. “So it wasn’t a dream then?” He asked. Xander kissed the blond before speaking.

“No, not a dream. You’re stuck with me now,” he whispered in William’s ears. William smiled but it went serious very fast.

“And the vampires trying to eat me. They were real to?” he questioned. Xander just nodded. “So? How did you do that light thing with your hands?” Xander looked up, he had not thought about that.

“To be honest I have no idea,” The brunet started. “I just felt warm and I needed to save you. The next thing I know, I was shooting light beams out of my hands like I’m was one of the x-men or something,” the babble was getting to full speed now. “I don’t do stuff like that. I’m normal human, Xander. The Zepo and doughnut boy. Not magic light, vampire killer boy. I ….” when Williams lips came crashing down on him mid babble he stopped. William came back up from the kiss.

“Better?” he asked. Xander nodded and William smiled. “So? Do you think you can explain the things you do, now? But please don’t forget to breath,” he asked. So Xander started to explain everything he knew about demons, vampires, and all the other nastiest in the dark. He also told William to talk to his mother. After that he crawled into bed with the blond and pulled him against his chest. Xander’s nose buried in the soft curls of the other man.

“I wanted to do this for so long,” he told William. The blond smiled and kissed the younger men’s chest.

“You know I feel save here,” he said snuggling deeper in the embrace.


	4. chapter 3

So to make this clear I don’t own any thing!!! This will be slash (male/Male) I’m dyslectic and English isn’t my first language so plz forgive me for mistakes I’d like to thank my beta for willing to proof read this stuff. That’s about all the thing you need to know so enjoy.

_Italics= thoughts_

Chapter 3: 1876 (Xander 18 / William 23)

“Lex, wake up,” William called to his lover. Xander pulled William back in bed with him.

“Don’t wanna,” Xander grumbled. “Can’t touch you outside this room. I like touching you. Never wanna stop it.” William struggled out of Xander’s embrace.

“You can touch me during combat training. Mr. Giles is already downstairs,” William told him. “And he brought Edna. So I can watch her while you, Miss Wales and Mr. Giles do all your magic stuff.” Xander groaned but got up.

“Alright. I’m up. Don’t want to keep Ed and his princess waiting,” he said while pulling up his pants. William smiled at him.

“You know Mr. Gilles hates it when you call him that.”

“Yea. It’s my life goal to irritate stuffy old English men called Gilles,” Xander joked.

“So get up and do your job.” William pulled him up. When Xander stood up he felt something pull at him from the inside. The brunet collapsed.

“No!” Xander screamed. “I’m not going!” Tears where welling up in the teens eyes. William fell next to the brown haired boy and put his arms around him. As soon as the arms enveloped him, the pain stopped.

“What was that?” William asked. Xander sat up holding onto William’s arms, close to him.

“I don’t really know,” Xander told him. “I think I need to talk to Miss Wales and Gilles.”

“Lex? Did this happen before?” the blonde asked, worried. Xander sighed.

“Just once but it wasn’t this strong,” Xander told honestly.

“When?” William questioned, worry clearly audible in his voice.

“Lee don’t worry. It’s over now. After training I will talk to Miss Wales and everything is gonna be alright. The last time this happened was a year ago. So I think we have time.” He pulled William in a hug and gave the other man a kiss on his curls. “Now come on, I want to get all sweaty with you.” The boy’s went downstairs. Edmund was sitting at the dining table.

“Ed! When Miss Wales comes in we need a meeting,” Xander yelled as soon as he saw the older man.

“Really, boy? Is respect completely gone in the future?” Edmund asked.

“It is in sunny California. But don’t worry England is still nice and proper. Well, except for the punks of course.” Edmund rolls his eyes. Xander always said the same thing. An hour later, the boys were ready with their hand to hand combat training. Both Xander and William were red and sweaty.

“Great job, boys,” Edmund said. “Don’t forget tomorrow is target practice. So I want you to practice loading your crossbows tonight.” William and Xander nodded. When they entered the living room, Mrs. Pratt and Miss Wales where drinking tea. William got attack by a small blond hurricane.

“Willy!! You gone play with me now?” the girl asked. William pulled the girl up and twirled her around before putting her back down.

“Look sweetie we need to talk with your dad and Miss Wales. But after that you can play with both me and Alexander,” He told the four-year-old. The girl turned to Xander. “Really? You gone play with me Ally?” she asked the brunet.

“Of course, my lady. It would be my honor to spend the morning with you.” Xander took Edna’s hand and kissed it. The girl giggled at her friend’s behavior and skipped back to her dolls.

“So Alexander you have a problem?” Miss Wales asked him. Xander and William sat down while Xander explained what happened that morning.

“Do you know the exact date of the last time this happened?” Edmund asked him.

“I can look it up in my journal. Wait a sec.” Xander ran up to get his journal. “Let’s see. October 31; so that was exactly a year ago,” Xander mumbled. William paled.

“Will, what’s wrong?” Mrs. Pratt asked her son.

“October 31, that’s the day Lex came here 2 years ago,” William explained.

“So I think it’s safe to assume it has something to do with your transport here,” Edmund said.

“Oh my god! Will,” Xander shouted. “What?” William asked. “No not you. I mean Willow,” Xander explained. “It makes sense. She is a Wicca. When I left she had just started. But she was training just like I am now. So if she is trying to get me back, it would make sense that the pull becomes stronger. She must be using the date of my disappearance because she thinks the connection would make it easier to get me back. And every year she is stronger, so I feel the pull harder.” Williams’s hands started shaking.

“She is gonna take you away, isn’t she?” William’s voice was trembling. Xander grabbed his hand, holding it to his chest.

“No she’s not,” he said. “There must be a way to keep me here. I have magic too; I can stop her. Tell me there is a way I can stop her!” At that he turned to Miss Wales. The woman looked at the boy.

“There is only one way to make sure. It’s to anchor you,” she told him. “It will keep you anchored to a person. But when he calls you, no magic will keep you here,” she explained. “So when I anchor myself to Lee he can call me whenever he wants?” Xander asked.

“Not exactly,” Miss Wales said. “William is not a mage, so to call you he needs the help of a mage or a witch.”

“So how long till we can do this? What preparations do we need?” the brunet asked. “Well the ritual exists out of two components. The first part will anchor you. I can have all what I need to do that part by next week. The second part is to set the bond and make it unbreakable. It’s not really necessary for the anchoring, but it will give you and your anchor a kind of psychic bond. If you do that is completely up to you and your anchor,” Miss Wales explained

“And why is that?” the teen asked.

“Well the anchoring is like a magical wedding. To make it stronger, you need to consummate it.” Both William and Xander blushed at this comment. Edmund started to clean his glasses like he wanted to rub until the glass was gone.

“Right,” Xander said standing up. “Well Miss Wales you gave us a lot to think about. I need to think some things through. In two days I will tell you if I want to get anchored and who my anchor will be. Come Lee, the little princess is waiting to serve us.” He pulled William up and they walked to Edna’s tea party. That evening William was passing his room. He didn’t understand what Xander had done that morning.

_“Why did he need to think? At first he looked so determined to stay here. And even without the consummating thing, the anchoring would be strong enough to keep him here. Maybe Lex just didn’t want to be bound to a bumbling, bad poet like me. Not when he could have a proper young lady. Lisa down the road had expressed her interest in him a couple of times. Maybe he wanted someone like her to warm his bed. Not like me and Lex do all that much. In the last year, we have kissed a lot. And sometimes we touch and caress each other. I still blush while thinking of the first time I came by Lex’s hand. But that was about all we did. Off course, Lex wouldn’t want to do that with me, I’m a guy. And above all, he wasn’t good enough for somebody like Lex. Lex was amazing; he had powers William only could dream of, he was funny, sexy, and he could make the darkest day feel like summer just by laughing at you. And I, William, the bloody awful poet thinks that angel would want to spend the rest of his life with me. Ha, what an idiot I am.”_ William took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears forming in his eyes, and to ease the tightness in his throat. _“As soon as Lex comes back from his job, I’m gone tell him that I understand if he wanted a nice lady as an anchor. It doesn’t matter how I have him, as a friend or a lover, I need him here. If he’s happy I will be too,”_ the blonde told himself. More than an hour later, Xander walked in.

“Hey Lee. Sorry I’m late, I had some stuff I needed to take care of. I want to talk to you about something,” Xander said while walking into the room. When he saw William on the bed in tears he immediately sat down in front of him. “Lee? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” William looked up at his Lex. What was he saying? William wasn’t crying. Was he? The boy’s hand went to his cheeks feeling the water on them. He let out a small sob.

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to,” he whispers. Xander took the now wet hand into his own.

“William please tell me. You’re worrying me,” Xander pleaded. William shook his head.

“It’s nothing Lex. The losing you thing is just getting to me a little,” Xander looked him right in the eyes.

“Lex. You’re not going to lose me.” he started. William tried to interrupt him. But Xander didn’t give him the chance. “Look that is what I wanted to talk to you about so for once shut up and listen to me, ok?” he demanded. William didn’t even think of doing anything else other than nodding his head. But clearly that was enough for the teen in front of him, because Xander started again. “Miss Wales got me thinking. I know it wouldn’t be legal or anything. But in magic it would be real. And you and I would know it was real. I know you probably never thought about doing the stuff Miss Wales talked about with me. And I understand if you don’t want to go that far. But I just want to spend forever with you.” Xander let out a sigh, “I’m not making any sense. Am I? Ok, here goes nothing. My dearest William, I was wondering if you would consider to not only be my friend and lover but to be my husband.” After his little speech, Xander opened his hand. In it were two wooden rings. They were both dragons eating their own tails. You could see the talent of the carving in every scale and the details of the head. Inside the ring were protection runes. “Miss Wales taught me to put my magic into things I make. I know they aren’t worth all that much. But it would be an honor if you considered wearing one.” William threw himself around Xander’s neck.

“I would love to. It will be my most prized possession.” Xander kissed the blond. William opened his mouth. The feeling of belonging overwhelming the blond.

That Friday, William and Xander where standing in the study room, waiting for Miss Wales to start the ritual. She entered in a purple robe, holding a bag. She pulled out two purple candles and a piece of rope out of it.

“So boys, let’s get started.” Miss Wales lit the candles while the boy’s extended their hands. Before tying them together, Miss Wales took their hands and cut them with a dagger, pressing the wounds together while tying the rope around their hands. In unison the boy’s spoke,

“Blood of my blood, bones of my bones. My anchor to this World. I grant you my body so we could be one. I grand you my spirit for eternity.” Miss Wales dripped the wax of the candles onto the rope tying them together.

“Now you’re part of each other. The goddess has seen this union and approves of it.” The rope disappeared into the boys skin, leaving black markings around there wrist. “If you do not preform the second part of the bonding within the next week, the markings will turn scarlet. If you wish to complete the bond, the rope will disappear and be replaced with a new mark. What that is I cannot tell you. It’s different with each anchoring,” Miss Wales explained. They both gave the woman a smile.

“Thank you Miss Wales,” Xander said. “And now it’s time to go to Mrs. Pratt’ celebration dinner.” Xander pulled his now husband behind him.

Later that evening, Xander was lying in their bed waiting for his William to come out of the bathroom. William looked rather nervous, fiddling with the cuffs of his knee length shirt. Xander could still see the blush through the blond curls falling in front of the blond’s face.

“God, Lee you’re beautiful.” William looked up, his face even redder.

“You really think so?” Xander saw the doubt in the other’s eyes. He got up and walked towards the blond. He took the others arms and put them around his own hips, his own arms finding their way around Williams neck.

“Yes my dear Lee. You’re God’s most magnificent being. When writers write about angels they describe your blue eyes, and the curls of your silk soft, golden hair,” Xander whispered in William’s ear. William giggled.

“I thought I was the poet in this relationship.” Xander just smiled.

“You inspire me,” he said “Now come to bed with me.” At this, William became serious again. “Hey don’t worry. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” Xander assured, while leading William to the bed. William laid his head on Xander shoulder, inhaling Xander scent.

“But I want to do things with you. I just don’t know how.”

“So we discover it together. Just like we did with kissing and touching. It’s just the next step,” Xander reassured the boy in front of him. While caressing his neck. William looked up from Xander’s shoulder. Xander took this opportunity to kiss his lover. His hands started to wonder around William’s back. William’s hands went up to Xander’s head. The longer the kiss continued, William became more secure. He pushed Xander onto his back. The blond felt his member touching Xander’s. The brunet hissed at the contact.

“Want more,” he moans.

“I know,” William responded. He was already working on getting Xander’s pants down. Xander followed, and soon they were naked. Xander took one of Williams’s nipples in his mouth, while his hand went down until he found the warmth of Williams’s dick. Williams gasped; he rocked his hips into that tight grasp. It still wasn't enough for Xander. He took William's fingers into his mouth, wetting them with his tongue. Then he guided them to his ass.

"Do you feel that?" William nodded. “I want you to put your finger in there and losing it up. Then at a second one, if its lose enough. I want you inside of me,” Xander told him. “You mean I be the one to ..? I thought you would want to do that,” William stuttered. Xander smiled ad him.

“Maybe next time. Now, I need you to take control. I need to feel you.” Xander gave the blond a small peck before lying down and opening his legs. William nodded.

“Okay” he said, while his fingers where already searching for Xander’s entrance. Holding Xander’s head with his other hand, the blond kept on kissing his lover to distract him from the lean finger entering his hole. When the finger breach the ring of muscles, Xander let out a small hiss. William took advantage of Xander’s open mouth and pushed his tongue in the brunet’s mouth while his finger was moving in and out of the brunet’s ass. A few minutes later, William added a second finger and start scissoring them. Xander let out a low moan while his hand was searching for the lotion he hide under his pillow. When he found the bottle, he put a vast amount of the lotion on his hand and coating the blond’s long, slick cock. The boy’s lips had traveled to Xander’s neck.

“Now Lee, I need you.” the brunet said, while he put his legs on Williams shoulders giving him even more access. Xander guided the other man’s prick to his opening. This time William didn’t hesitate; in one swift movement he entered the body beneath him. Xander cried out. William immediately stopped.

“Lex? Are you alright?” Xander looked William in his eyes.

“Yes I am. Please Lee move,” Xander begged the man above him. So William did just that.

"Bloody hell Lex, you’re so tight.” William quickened his pace, his fingers digging into Xander’s tights. “Lee,” Xander moaned. “Faster please. Harder.” William took Xander’s cock in his hand.

“Cum for me Lex,” he whispered into Xander’s ear and bit down on Xander’s neck. That did it for the brunet. Xander mimic William’s movement, closing his teeth over his lover’s neck, while a string of white, hot cum shoot out his dick. The feeling of his lover’s ass tightening around him and the teeth on his skin drew out Williams own orgasm. While riding out his orgasm, he bit down harder until he could taste blood, and collapsed on his lover. Carefully, he pulled out his now soft cock. Xander let out a small whimper at the loss, but William quickly quieted it with a kiss. He lay down next to Xander and pulled him close to him. Safe to read now William kissed Xander’s neck

”God, I love you,” he whispered. Xander turned towards his lover, kissing the tip of William’s nose.

“Love you too,” he said. After a couple minutes of snuggling, Xander got up. When he came back he was clean and carried a wet cloth. He started to clean his lover. Then he saw it. Right above Williams heart where now three letters in moving black and red ink spelling “Lex”.

“Oh my god Lee, my name is on your chest,” Xander whispered tracing the letters with his finger. William looked at his own chest and at Xander’s.

“And mine is on yours.” Xander looked down on his chest. William was indeed right. In black and green ink stood the “Lee”. Xander smiled down at the blond.

“Now you can’t get rid of my anymore,” William pulled Xander in a kiss.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”


	5. chapter 4

So to make this clear I don't own anything! This will be slash (male/Male) I'm dyslectic and English isn't my first language so plz forgive me for mistakes I'd like to thank my beta for willing to proof read this stuff. That's about all the thing you need to know so enjoy.

_Italics= thoughts_

So I had I question about the nicknaming in my story and I know I never really explained it so her it goes. William has different derivations like Bill or Will and one of those is Liam but because angel's birth name was Liam I didn't want to use that so I shorten it, and the reason Xander doesn't calls William Will is because he already calls Willow that

Chapter 4 (2001/1879: Xander 20 William 25 spike 226)

Spike was waking up with a hell of a headache.

"Bloody hell," he muttered. Before he could even open his eyes he was crushed.

"Oh my god, Spike. I can't believe you did that for me. You were out for two days.," the weight on his chest said. He heard somebody chuckle.

"Dawnie, I don't think he can answer with you crushing him," the other voice said.

"Oh yeah. Sorry." At that the weight left him. He finally opened his eyes and saw Willow and Dawn.

"Hi Nibblet, Red. What's going on?" He asked.

"Well you saved Dawn and by some extent the whole world. You killed Ben, who was Glory. But because Ben is human you're ship went a bazinga and almost fried you're brain. So you went out for two days," the redhead explained.

"That explains the drum concert in my head," Spike mumbled. "So I don't want be rude. But can you two leave? My head is bloody killing me at the moment."

"Yeah sure," Dawn said and skipped out of the room. Willow lingered fiddling with her sweater.

"Spill it Red."

"I'd like your help with a spell," she whispers. Spike eyebrows went up.

"You do know my history with magic? Last time you got me hitched with a slayer," he said.

"I know, but I made this spell to bring Xander back. I need five different cores. I have the witch, slayer, watcher, and key cores; I only need a vampire core. I can call Angel, but Cordy says they are really buzzy. And the spell needs to be done next week or…" Spike stopped her.

"It's ok, Red. I really don't want the pouf here. I'll do it." Willows face lit up.

"Thanks Spike. You have no idea what this means to me. I just know I will bring him back this time." Spike rolled his eyes,

"Yeah. I just don't want Angelus on my turf. Now please leave, you are hurting my head." Willow hugged the vampire and left. Spike grunted. "What's with these people? I'm a master vampire, not a freaking care bear." He let out another sight before sinking back into the pillows. _"So it's that time again. We are gone have one pissed off witch when it doesn't work."_ Spike didn't know why the witch was so obsessed with bringing the boy back. She tried every year. It never worked and then Willow spends the rest of the week crying in her room and blowing stuff up. Afterwards she came out and started recharging again. Last year, Buffy had suggested stopping trying. Willow went ballistic. It was almost as bad as a few weeks ago when Glory got to Tara. Spike wondered what was so special about this boy. Angel had offered him to Spike the day he disappear; it took Spike forever to convince the Scooby's he had nothing to do with the whelps disappearance. Well, he was too buzzy that night drowning his worries and getting his as saved by Dru. He tried his damn hardest not to think about that night and why he was sitting outside his tomb. The alcohol consumed that night really helped and he couldn't remember the boy's face anymore. Spike fell asleep to the memory of brown hair and hazel eyes.

Willow was drawing a pentagram while she explained the spell. Spike didn't' really understand it. But he knew his place on the pentagram and what was expected from him. He didn't really believe it would work anyway.

"Ok guy's. Let's get started." Willow took a deep breath before she started. "Goddess we ask your help. To bring back what was lost in time and space. Guide us through the maze of worlds and history. Earth keep us grounded." Spike put a handful of earth in to the bowl in the pentagram. Air take us up to the next world," Gilles blew into the bowl. "Water clear the path we need to walk," Dawn poured out her cup onto the earth. "Fire light our way so we will see in the darkness," Buffy put her torch on the circle surrounding the bowl. A blue glow surrounded them. "Spirit be our guide and lead us to what we seek." A flash blinded them. When Spike's eyesight came back, they were in what seemed like nothing. White was all he could see.

"So Red. What now?" Spike asked.

"Now we are gonna look for Xander. He should be the only other person here so it can't be that difficult," Willow told them. The other Scooby's just nodded but didn't move.

"So what are you waiting for? It's your friend, move! I wanna get out of here." Spike told them."

"It seems we are unable to move," Gilles said.

"So what? I'm the only one who can walk around here?" Spike questioned. Willow nodded yes.

"Spike there must be a reason you can walk around. Please find Xander.," Willow pleaded.

"How the hell I'm supposed to do that? Look around, there is nothing here," Spike yelled.

"You are the big bad master vampire here. Use your instincts or something," Buffy screamed. Spike gave her a dirty look before closing his eyes. He planned on sniffing the whelp out. Before he could try to smell him, he felt a pull to the left. Spike was not going to question the magic. He started walking to the direction of the pull.

1879

Xander was cleaning up the shop. Mr. Frank had left with his wife to help his daughter out. And he left the shop to Xander. When he was ready to close up the shop, he left to the Prats home. When he entered there room William was writing. Xander leaned over and kissed the blonds cheeks. Then he felt it, a pull he hadn't felt in 3 years.

"No. this can't be!" William ran over to him and put a hand on Xander's shoulder. The touch lessened the pull.

"Lex? What's wrong?" William asked him.

"Lee. I think they are trying to get me back again."

"No! They can't be, we are anchored!" William yelled while throwing his hands up in to the air. As soon as Williams hand left his shoulder, Xander felt the pull again.

"Lee! Don't let go of me please. It helps when you touch me," Xander asked. Williams immediately put his arm around the brunet's middle.

"Lex how can this be happening?" William asked.

"I don't know Lee. Maybe the spell weakened when Mrs. Whales died. Or maybe there is a way around the anchoring in the future. I'm sorry Lee, I just don't know. But I really don't want to go. Let's try and keep me here as long as possible. I think the only way to do that is by you holding me." William tightens his arms around his lover. Tears ran across his cheeks while he kissed Xander.

"I can do that." William whisper. "Let's go to bed." During the night, the pull grew stronger. There were moments when even Williams hold couldn't keep him. During those times, he was transfer to a white space. Sometimes he saw a silhouette. He couldn't see the details, but when he was back in their bedroom he remembered a long black coat. Xander knew it wouldn't be long before the figure will take him away from his lover. He tried to stay strong for Lee, but he just couldn't keep the tears in any more.

"Lee never forget that I love you ok?" William pulled Xander closer. Hiding his face in Xander's hair

"I'm so sorry Lex. I wish I could do more for you. So you would stay. I love you Lex." Before Williams's tears could reach Xander's hair, Xander was gone.

Spike felt like he was walking for hours. At first the pull was really strong, but it got weaker really fast. After that it spiked up once again and vanished almost completely. Slowly the pull grew stronger. Spike decided to just stay put after about two hours. It didn't really mattered where he was it, was all the same anyway. Sometimes, he saw a silhouette. After about four hours of sitting there watching the man appear and disappear, the figure finally became clearer. The man walked towards Spike. Spike still couldn't really make out the man's face. The only thing clearly defined was brown hair and hazel eyes. When the man stood in front of him, the brunet shook his head.

"Who the hell are you?" the stranger asked. He continued before Spike could answer. "I assume Wills sent you? So why are you standing around, bring me to the girls." Spike assumed the man was Xander. Spike sighed, but took Xander's hand and pulled him behind him, hoping I wouldn't take long to find the others. When they find them, Spike took his place in the pentagram, still holding the others hand. And again there was a flash and they were back at the summer house. It wasn't like the first trip. This time he felt nauseated. Spike heard heaving next to him. It was the brunet they brought back. Willow, Buffy, and Dawn were immediately beside him. Shielding the man from Spike's eyesight. Gilles watched the girls with a fond smile.

"So why the hell aren't they puking their guts out, or even looking a little ill." Spike scrambled back up and walked to the door.

"Ss s Spike? Are you all right?" Tara asked before he could slip out.

"Of course I'm fine. I'm a vampire, not just a little weak human boy. Now excuse me, I have a poker game." At that Spike left the house.

When Xander landed on the carpet of the summer's household, he felt miserable. He started to puke his guts out. He heard a bunch of voices around him. After throwing up, he passed out.


	6. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to make this clear I don’t own any thing!!!  
> This will be slash (male/Male)   
> I’m dyslectic and English isn’t my first language so plz forgive me for mistakes I’d like to thank my beta for willing to proof read this stuff.   
> That’s about all the thing you need to know so enjoy. 
> 
> Warning: trigger warnings: attempted suicide, depression  
> Italics= thoughts   
> Bold= writing (a book or letter)

Chapter 5 (2001 Xander 20 Spike 226)

Xander woke up in a soft bed surrounded by a bunch of people. He knew most of them. He saw Buffy, Willow and Gilles. Next to Buffy was a younger brunet Xander had the feeling he knew the girl but he just couldn’t place her. Willow was holding hands whit a blond. Xander didn’t knew her but he felt her power and how it blended whit Willow’s. He knew they belonged together just like he and Lee did. The thought of William hurt so much it felt like his heart was pulled out of his chest.

“I think something is wrong whit your friend.” The blond next to Gilles said. “Hey Xander person are you alive?”

“Anja! Don’t talk to him like that.” Willow screamed. The 2 woman started bickering. This resulted in the pair of them getting kicked out of the room by Gilles. The blond holding Willow’s hand followed her outside. The young brunet sat down on the bed.

“Oh Xander we missed you so much.” She said while hugging him. Xander didn’t know what to say to the girl. He was saved by Buffy.

“Dawn. Leave Xander to recover before you go al bear hugging on him.” The words of the blond brought back a stream of memories of a 10 year old Dawn following him everywhere. The memories looked real but he had a feeling something wasn’t right whit them. The more he thought about it the more his head hurt. He closed his eyes.

“Xander are you alright?” hearing that accent just hurt so much. It reminded him he would never hear Lee’s voice again. Xander felt the tears Welling up in his eyes.

“Leave pleas.” He choked out.

“But Xan..” Dawn began but Buffy interrupted her.

“Come Dawn. I think Xander needs some sleep.” Xander felt them leaving. When he didn’t felt there energy anymore Xander let loose the tears he was holding. He held the pillow to his face to muffle his cry’s. Xander felt empty. The loss of Lee hurt more the longer he was here without him. Xander cried himself to sleep.

1 Week later. Willow, Tara and Buffy where siting in the Summer’s kitchen.

“So how is he?” Willow asked.

“Well he still doesn’t talk except when he wants us to leave.” Buffy told the girls. “He just lays there looking at the sealing.” Buffy said.

“It’s strange I feel so much power from him but he seems so weak.” Tara said.

“I still can’t believe Xander has power.” Buffy tolled them.

“I know it’s hard to believe. But even I can feel it and unlike Tara I’m not trained in sensing aura’s. Her readings are always accurate. Xander is one of the strongest mage’s me and Tara know.” Willow explained.

“But if he’s so strong. What’s wrong whit him?” Buffy asked. Tara was about to answer when she felt it. A sudden drop in Xander magic’s. She jumped up.

“Something wrong whit Xander.” She told the others. When they entered Xander’s room it was empty. The door to the bathroom open. Tara was the first to enter the room.

“Oh my god.” She screamed. Buffy followed directly after her. Xander was laying in the tub. Both his wrist cut open. Buffy run up to hem and check his pulse. “he still has a pulse. Willow call 911. Tara get the first aid kid. We need to get pressure on his wounds. The gang sat in the waiting room when a doctor walked in asking if there was someone for Alexander Harris they all stood up.

“Are you family?” the doctor asked.

“I’m the boy’s adoptive father. And these girls are the only family he ever knew.” Giles spoke up.

“Mister Giles Xander is stable now. Physical he will be ok in a day or two. But we need to keep him under observation for at least a week after. I recommend you to get hem therapy. I’m not convinced he wouldn’t try again. If you want you can go and see him now but not more the two at the time and no more than 10 min for the girls. There is a extra bed if you want to stay whit your son .” The doctor explaind. Willow and Tara where the first to go in. After less than 5 min they came back out. Willow in tears. Buffy and Dawn didn’t do much better. Anja took them home after telling Giles she didn’t feel like it was her place to go in. she didn’t really now him anyway. When he entered the boy’s room it hurt him looking at the boy. He was as pale as the bandages around his wrist. His eyes closed. Gilles reached out the move the hair from the boy’s face. Xander’s eyes flew open. Gilles was startled by the emptiness in those eyes. He sank down in the chair beside the bed.

“Xander? What happened in those four years? What made you think this was your only option? Why don’t you talk to us? Willow, Buffy, Dawn and even me. We al need you. I know I never gave you the same amount of attention as the girls. But that was because you didn’t need it. You were the one making Shure they kept it together. You have no idea how difficult it was keeping them in focus and happy whit out you there? Please let us help you.” Gilles pleaded. The only reaction he got was Xander moving his head away from him. Gilles let out a sight and went to the bed next to the boy.

Xander was staring at yet another ceiling. He was at Gilles now. It really didn’t matter to him. The emptiness just followed him everywhere. His friends didn’t let him alone anymore. To scared he would try to kill himself again. Every moment day or night someone was sitting next to him. They didn’t want him in the hospital. Willow was convinced something supernatural was causing his behavior. Xander didn’t care he knew it wasn’t magical. It was there fold but he couldn’t get up the energy to tell them that. So he just laid in the bed they gave him staring and ceilings trying to block whatever they were saying out and trying to remember the beautiful blond he left in the past. Dead now and no chance for Xander to join him because his friends didn’t let him be happy. He stopped eating four days ago. He felt his body weakening and knew it wouldn’t by long before he passed out. The catheter willow tried to insert the day before was still in the room. He knew that the moment he was out they would put that ting back in but every time he even woke up a little he just pulled it back out. Every time his eyes closed he hoped they finally got the messages and just let him go.

-Bang bang bang- Spike waked up at the sound of someone trying to break down his door. He unbolted it and the slayer came flying in.

“What the hell” The petite blonde screeched.

“Since when did you bold lock your door?”

“Since I wanted to sleep whit out having a slayer walking around my crypt at all hours of the day.” He responded. “Why are you here?” The slayer almost looked nervous when she answered him.

“We need you to watch Xander for a while.” Spike raised a eyebrow.

“and why the bloody hell would I do that?” I already helped you lot to get the guy from where ever he was. And now I need to babysit him? You people really need to remember I’m evil.” Spike snorted.

“Look at the moment he’s not in a good place. He’s mostly asleep these day’s but last time we left him alone he slit his wrist.” Buffy started to explain.

“Not my problem love. If you scared he off himself watch him yourself.” Spike tolled the blond.

“ But we can’t!” Buffy screamed hysterically. “There is some new evil out there we need to look in to and Anja needs to open the shop before Gilles goes completely broke. Spike please I five you 10 bags of O neg.” The slayer al but beg him.

“Make it 15 and I will play babysitter for the lad.” Spike bargained. Buffy nodded her head.

“Tonight six o clock at Gilles.” She said before she left.

At 6 o clock sharp Spike walked in to Giles house. Gilles send the blonde upstairs. Willow was the Scooby on duty. Her eyes were red whit tears. Spike eyes were drawn to the figure on the bed. The boy’s complexion would rival a vampires. And he looked so fragile like Spike would break him if he touched him. The infuse on his arm made him even more vulnerable. Spike hard clenched at the sight. He wanted to keep the boy save. Spike frowned. He was a master vampire what was he feeling sorry for some human wimp. He pushed the feeling away before turning his head to Willow.

“So what’s the new big bad. Are you gone give me a chance to pummel some demons in the ground?” the blond asked.

“We don’t know jet. Buffy is getting weird dreams about girls everywhere getting murdered.” Willow explained. Then Buffy called for Willow to get down and she left the vampire alone whit the unconscious boy. Spike didn’t saw the point in trying to talk to the boy. So he just watched him sleep for about an hour. When the boy started moving it wasn’t a lot just enough for the blankets to slip down the brunets waist. Spike now saw the others naked chest. He just stared at it. His eyes fixated on that one point right above the boy’s heart. There they ware 3 little letters still moving and as clear as the day the first appeared. Spike’s hand automatically went to his own chest. Were he knew a similar tattoo was hiding beneath his shirt.

“This can’t be.” He whispered looking at his Lex. The memories he repressed for all his un life came flooding back at him. “Slayer!” Spike screamed. “Get someone to watch the boy! I need to talk to the witch!” He yelled at her when she entered the room.

“What? Why?” the girl questioned.

“Now Slayer!” Spike vamped out. Buffy took a step back.

“Ok. I send Dawn up. No need to go al vamp on me. You know you can’t hurt me.” Buffy said.

“I know I have this thing in my head. But I don’t give a bloody fuck. Hurry up before I put your head true the wall headache or no headache.” Spike treated. Buffy left and immediately Dawn came up. Spike was downstairs before the girl was completely in the room.

“You daft Witch. Do you even have I inkling of a what you did to him!?” Spike started. “Of course the boy tried to of himself!” spike ranted his face right in front of hers.

“Spike! Back of!” Buffy jelled. Spike took a step back and started passing.

“Spike. Sit down and explain what you mean pleas.” Gilles said. Willow looked scared when he sat. “What do you mean?” She asked.

“He anchored himself.” At spike’s words Gilles dropped his glasses and Tara let out a loud gasp. Willow and Buffy looked at their friends reactions without knowing what was going on.

“So? What’s so special about this anchor thingy?” Buffy wanted to know.

“ An Anchor ceremony is like a magical marriage. Its only preformed when the couple is worried that something trying to keep the apart. It can’t be broken without serious repercussions.” Tara started to explain.

“In al of history there are only 4 anchoring’s written down. Snow white’s being the most know.” Gilles continued. “Wait a second like in snow white and the 7 dwarfs?” Buffy questioned. Gilles let out a sight. “Yes, only without the apple Snow white was in a coma because she was away from her love for too long. When the prince found her de magic they shared woke her up. They lived for many years until Snow died the prince following her 2 day later. The other two stories having a similar ending. One dies and the second will follow whit in the week. That’s the nature of this spell. One can’t live without the other.” Gilles tolled them. It was quit for a while before Willow spoke up.

“What about the fourth?” She asked.

“The fourth is a strange one to say the least. It was written down by my great grandfather Edmund. I have his notes here some were.” Gilles stood up and went to his study.

“Of course the old wanker couldn’t keep it to himself.” Spike muttered under his breath. Gilles gave the blond a questioning look but ignored his statement. The older man sat down and started reading.

**When A. disappeared the same way he came W. fell into a deep depression. Only three days after the disappearance I found W. whit a knife on his arms. When I took the knife he started fighting me and tried to get me to kill him. When he finally called down I tried to explain that it didn’t mattered if he or I would kill him A. wasn’t dead he was back home. I tried to convince him we could get A. back. W. didn’t believe me. He told me it was supposed to be impossible for A.’s friends to get him back. The fact they did it clearly mend he wasn’t worthy of A.’s love. I couldn’t convince him otherwise so I used my last resort. I tolled W. about his mother condition. She had only a few months left so I asked him to wait it out. To spare her the pain of losing her only son. In return I promised him I would keep looking for a way to get A. back. He didn’t look like he believed me but at least he promised to not killing himself as long his mother was alive. Six months later W. and his mother disappeared I fear the vampires traveling true town got to them. I hope W. found the peace I denied him.**

Gilles closed the book.

“So that’s about it. Anchors are supposed to be marked but Edmund never wrote down what this mark was.” He explained while cleaning his glasses. Willow was looking at her hands and whispered.

“Xander is A..” Buffy jumped up.

“What the hell? Of course he is not. Xander starts whit a X and Xan isn’t gay.” She said.

“Buffy you know Xander’s real names is Alexander. When Xander left he was 16 we didn’t knew he was gay doesn’t mean he wasn’t.” The redhead reasoned whit the blonde. “What I don’t get is how we got him back.” Willow continued. This time Tara answered.

“Because we had his anchor to call him.” Everyone except Spike looked at the shy blonde.

“That’s ridicules! That W. dude died more than 200 years ago.” Buffy said.

“Yeah. But Mr. Gilles grandfather feared vampires got to him. And we know one who raise about 200 years ago.” Tara’s eyes drifted to the vampire in their midst. Spike hadn’t looked up from his hands once. Gilles cleaned his glasses.

“William the bloody.” He said while turning to Spike. “That’s how you know Xander is anchored. You’re his anchor.” At Gilles words Buffy turned red.

“So you mean that that pathetic excuse for a vampire had the nerve to anchor himself to our Xander.” She jelled. Spike jumped up.

“Listen you daft bint. William anchored himself because Lex didn’t wane get dragged back here. And for your information if you left him whit me like he wanted I wouldn’t even be here it’s your fault I let Drusilla turn me!” after his rant Spike stormed out. Leaving the Scooby’s dumbstruck. A small cough pulled them out of their daze. Dawn was standing in the door.

“I’m sorry but Xander is waking up.” Buffy and Willow ran up the stairs. They entered as Xander opens his eyes.

“Lee?” was the first thing he said.

“Oh Xander” Willow said reaching to stroke his hair. Xander pulled his head out of her reach.

“No where is Lee? I heard him. Let me see him.” For the first time since his return he looked like the old Xander. It hurted Willow to know the lose of her friends spark was her fold.

“Xander . He left” she began to explain.

“No! He wouldn’t do that! I could feel him. What did you do to him?” Xander was jelling his hands in fist beside him. They al could feel the power coming from him.

“Xan?” Willow tried to calm him. A white light threw them against the wall. Xander sat up and pulled on his pants. He held out his hand. I white boll of the same light holding the Scooby’s appeared.

“Find him” Xander whispered to the boll. It started to flood and Xander went after it. The Scooby’s where still struggling against the wall. It took Willow and Tara more than an hour to break the spell.


	7. chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics= thoughts   
> Bold= writing (a book or letter)

**Chapter 6 (2001 Xander 20 Spike 226)**

Xander was running true Sunnydale. His magic the only thing keeping him upright and demon free. It didn’t matter that he was bare foot and half naked. The only thing that mattered was the fact lee was here. He needed to find Lee. The boll of light went true a crypt door. Xander discovered the door was locked. He took a step back and blew the door open whit his magic.

“Bloody hell what’s going on!?” That voice it was Lee no question about it. But Lee would never swear like that. Xander walked into the crypt. He stopped when he saw the men standing there. It was Lee but at the same time not. His face was slimmer. The soft dark blond curls were gone his hair was white and gelled back. The hands once covert in ink spots where clean whit black nails. His skin was white as ivory. Everything about this man screamed one thing. Vampire! Xander sunk to his knees. The magic that kept him going left him as soon as the tears came.

Spike was pacing true his crypt when something blew his door out.

“Bloody hell what’s going on!? He screamed. A man walked in. Magic surrounding him. Spike knew who it was just by the feeling of that magic. It was more than 200 years ago but the magic still felt safe and warm. The magic faded and Spike was left empty. He heard a thump and he saw his Lex on his knees. Tears on his cheeks. Spike couldn’t help himself, before he could stop his self he was on the ground next to Xander. But when he tried to wrap his arms around the other man the brunet jerked away.

“Don’t. Don’t you touch me. You leach!” Spikes arms fell limp by his side.

“Lex?” Spike hated how weak his own voice sounded.

“Don’t call me that!” Xander screamed. “You have no right to call me that! You’re not him! You’re the thing that killed him!” Xander was trying to get back up but his legs were too weak to support him. Spike felt like his heart was trying to leave his chest. Unconsciously his hands want to his chest trying to keep it in. When his hand touched the skin he knew what to do. He took Xander’s hands in his cold ones. The human tried to pull them back. But this time Spike didn’t let him.

“Look at me.” The vampire said. Xander closed his eyes and shook his head. “Lex please look at me.” He whispered. Xander slowly opened his eyes looking right into Spike’s. Spike almost fell back at the hate in those beautiful eyes.

“I know what I am and I’m not gone deny it.” Spike began. “I know for you I’m just a soulless monster. But there is more to me than you think.” He took Xander’s hands and laid him on his bare chest. Right above the tattoo. Xander’s eyes grew wide in shock.

“How?” he asked while his hand felt the rest of the blonde’s chest. Spike knew the rest of his chest was as cold only that little circle felt like he was still alive.

“At first I thought Drew screwed up. That because of the way she is she couldn’t turn me completely.” Spike started. “But she always said it was my fault my kitten had my soul so it couldn’t leave. She told me. After a few years we came in to contact whit a warlock. He told me that my soul was fractured. That somebody kept that part of me here. As long this person wasn’t dead I couldn’t lose my full soul. He told me an anchoring normally prevented people to get turned. But because of our situation things worked a little different. So I’m not the men you left behind but don’t think for a second I’m not Lee. And as long as I have this little part of him I have the right to call you Lex.” He looked back into the brunets eyes. To his relieve the hate wasn’t there anymore. In its place were hope and a little doubt. It wasn’t the love there once was but it was a start. This time Xander didn’t protest when Spike pulled him into a hug. Spike couldn’t resist and kissed the top of the boy’s head. For the first time in 200 year he felt home again. Xander hided his face in Spikes neck. And he fell asleep. Spike carried the brunet downstairs and laid him on the bed. His hands ghosting over Xander’s tattoo. He pulled a chair to the side of the bed and just stayed there looking at his Lex.

About 2 hours later he heard jelling coming from upstairs.

“Spike! Come up! I know you’re here!” spike let out a sigh. He gave the boy in his bed a kiss before going upstairs.

“please keep your voice down. Lex is sleeping and by the looks of him he really needs it.” Spike whispered.

“Xander is hire?” Buffy screamed again.

“Shut up you daft bind.” Spike hissed. “What part of he’s a sleep don’t you understand? Really if you wake him up I will cleaning your blood out of my carpet. Do you understand?” Buffy backed down a bit when spike shifted to put some force into his words.

“Ok but I take him whit me.” Buffy started.

“You do no such thing.” Spike growled. “He has completely drained his energy by using his magic in the state he was in. He needs his rest. When he wakes up and if his well enough and wants it. Then and only then he can come to you.” At that Spike turned around and walked back down. Whit out even listening to Buffy’s sputtering. When he was back in the bedroom he smiled and lay down next to the brunet. Xander wrapped himself around the blond. Spike put his arms around the man. In a few seconds Xander was back in a deep sleep. Spike followed soon after. Xander slept for three days only waking up to go to the toilet and falling back asleep the minute spike put him back. Spike stayed whit the boy the whole time. Most of the time he just sat next to the bed looking at him. Wondering what would happen when he was fully recovered.

_“Would the boy stay whit him? Yha right_ ” Spike thought _“like he would stay whit a monster like me. I’m a vampire the only thing he truly hates.”_ Spike let out a deep sight.

4 days later Xander was completely recovered and waking up. The first thing he noticed was the arms around his torso. The body behind him smelled like Lee. But there was something wrong. The arms were cold. Whit this realization everything came back. He was back in Sunnydale and his Lee, his sweet innocent poet was now a vampire. He turned into a monster because Xander didn’t protect him. He never felt so useless. He felt the vampire stirred behind him. Xander jumped out of bed. His back against the farthest wall. His hands ready to cast his magic. The movement startled Spike and he jolted up. Xander almost missed the flash of hurt passing on the others face right before it settled in an ice expression.

“So you’re up?” Spike said. Xander didn’t respond. He just raised his hands more. “Oh please” spike scoffed. “You been out for 4 days if I wanted to hurt you I would have done it already.” Xander lowered his hands a little. But he stayed pressed against the wall. Spike was doing everything to not show how much Xander’s behavior was hurting him.

“Just leave.” He snarled. And Xander did just that. Spike took a bottle of Jack. After on long gulp he smashed the bottle against the wall.

“Fuck!” He screamed. Spike lowered himself to the floor. He was sick of this. Xander was so freaking close and he still couldn’t have him. He wished he could take a walk in the sun and turning in to a big pile of dust. But he couldn’t do that. Because it wouldn’t just kill him. It would kill Lex to. And Spike just couldn’t do that. After a while Spike stood up. Sitting on the floor like the big poof wasn’t gone help anybody. He toke his coat and left the crypt. He went straight to the campus. He had to talk to Willow. When he saw the redhead he pulled her into an empty classroom. “Spike!? What are you doing?” She asked him. “Listen red. I need a favor.” Spike started. Willow just looked shell shocked.

“I’m going on a little trip and when I come back I don’t want to find Lex hurt. So I need you to keep him save and tell him I will come back to him.” Before Willow could respond Spike was gone. Leaving a letter in Willows hands. It would be easy to just open it. But she couldn’t. She had hurt Xander enough. So after her classes she went to the magic shop. Intending to start a search party. But when she entered the shop she saw Xander sitting at the table talking to Anya.

“Xander? What are you doing here?” She asked.

“Hi Wills. I kind of left spike and went to Gilles toke me whit him when I came to his place. Apparently I can’t be left alone in a locked house.” Xander responded.

“Me and time boy are gone live together.” Anya announced. Willow looked at the two.

“What?!” she asked in shock. Xander smiled at Willow’s expression

“Relax Wills. We are just gone be roomies.” Willow still looked at the other two like she just entered the twilight zone.

“How did this happen?” She asked.

“Well, Time boy was al wimpy and upset. So I told him he should get some money. Cause money always made me happy. So I helped him looking for a job. Of course we found one. He starts next week. And because he don’t wane bother you guy’s and can’t live in a crypt like spike we also looked for a apartment. As you know my place sucks. So we agreed to get a nice place together. I mean Xander is gay so I don’t have to worry him wanting to have sex. So it’s a win win.” Anya explained. Willow turned to Xander.

“you did al that in one day?” she asked him.

“what can I say. She’s a firecracker” the brunet answered. Willow let out a sight and shook her head. Giving up on trying to understand what happened. A few days ago Xander was suicidal and now he looked so happy.

“So a job?”

“Jep” he said. “I’m gone be a carpenter again.” Xander tolled her whit a big smile.

“so you were a carpenter in the past?” Willow couldn’t help herself she wanted to know her best friend like she used to.

“Yes. Mrs. Pratt got me a apprenticeship and when my boss and his wife left to live whit his daughter he left me everything, the shop and the apartment above it not that I used it much. I usually slept at Williams. But it was mine you know.” Xander explained. Willow felt a pang of guilt . it sounded like her friend had a great life before she pulled him out. She remembers the letter Spike gave her.

“Oh; I have something for you.” Willow gave the letter to Xander. “Its from Spike. He tolled me to make sure you knew he would come back.” Willow tolled him. Xander just nodded before taking the letter and leaving for the training room so he could read it.

**My dearest Lex. It feels weird to write again. I quite the night I got turned. It remembered me to much of you to keep it up. It just felt like a insult to you doing something you loved so much while I wasn’t me anymore. The first years I tried you got to believe me. I didn’t want to kill. I wanted to keep Lee as pure as I could. But Angelus saw this and made sure to beat it out of me. I know that’s no excuse you would have stayed strong and left them I know that. But I’m not strong like you I never was you were always my protector. And I just couldn’t be alone. As a vampire it was easier to masked the pain. Being spike was my way to trying to forget you. It never really worked. You were buried deep but never completely gone. Do you remember the night the pouf tried to offer you to me? (Of course you do it was the night you were send back wasn’t it?) Seeing you was such a shock. You remembered me so much of well of you apparently. Didn’t knew that then but it brought so much back the pain the way’s I was betraying you by being this thing. So that night I sat in front of my crypt. Planning not to move when the sun came up. Dru stopped me pulling me in a few seconds before the sun came up. I hated her for it. For the first time in 200 years I had the courage to end it and she took it from me. Now I’m glad. Cause I would have died thinking you were dead. To know you’re alive is the greatest gift I ever received. But I’m a vampire now. The only thing you ever hated. Shakespeare himself couldn’t write something as fucked up as this. I’m not the man you loved. But maybe I can be someday. So I’m gone try to become that man once again. Don’t worry I will be back for you if I can’t find it whit in the year I will come back as I am and hope you will accept me like that. Until that time please live your life and be happy. Remember I never stopped loving you. Even in dead you’re my reason to live. Whit love from your Lee.**


	8. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to make this clear I don’t own any thing!!!  
> This will be slash (male/Male)   
> I’m dyslectic and English isn’t my first language so plz forgive me for mistakes I’m whiteout a beta atm so if anybody wants to volunteer pls do  
> That’s about all the things you need to know so enjoy.   
> Italics= thoughts   
> Bold= writing (a book or letter)

Chapter 7

A tear escaped Xander’s eye. He put the letter down when he heard screaming coming from upstairs. As he reentered the shop, he saw Buffy screaming her lungs out.

“Can I ask what the problem is?” The brunet asked.

“Xander.” Buffy screeched. “I thought Spike had kidnapped you or something. Wait, you’re not a vamp? Are you?” Xander shook his head and took the silver cross around Buffy’s neck into his hand.

“Proof enough for you?” he asked, looking the blond in the eyes. “Lex would never hurt me like that. And I want you to know, I will never let anything happen to him. If it means I have to stand between him and you, I will.” Xander let the silver cross fall back against Buffy’s chest. He went to turn around but Buffy held him back.

“You can’t mean that. He’s a vampire!” Buffy started.

“Don’t! Do not try that shit on me. I know what he is. Just like you knew what Angel was.” Xander told her.

“That was different.” She protested. Xander held up his hand to stop her from continuing.

“I’m so sick of that. Yah, it’s different!” he screamed. “You want to know why? Because the soul thing was a fucking curse, that’s why. The pouf didn’t want it. It was meant to punish him. And, what did the almighty ‘good’ vampire do when he lost the dam thing? He tried to end the freaking world! Before that, it took the idiot 100 years to do something with the damned thing anyway! You can hate Lee all you want, but he is looking for his soul for no other reason than that he loves me. He loves me even without the stupid thing. Angel hated you when the soul was bye bye. So who is the better choice here?” Xander pulled his arm loose and stormed out of the shop, forgetting Lee’s letter on the table. Buffy turned around to Willow.

“What the hell was that?” she asked.

“I think it has something to do with the letter he got from Spike.” Willow points to the table. Buffy picked the letter up and read it. She looked perplexed.

“Spike is gone.” She said. Willow nodded her head, she had figured as much.

“Did he write where he would be going?” she asked. Buffy shook her head.

“I think he’s looking for his soul.” The slayer said.

“What?!” Willow screamed. “Let me see.” The witch pulled the letter out of Buffy’s hands. After reading it, she sank down on a chair. “Buffy, I think it’s more than his soul.” Willow said. Buffy looked at her best friend.

“What do you mean? She asked.

“Well, if he only wanted his soul back I could have done that. But, the letter said he want to be the man Xander fell for—Man not vampire.” Willow explained. Buffy shook her head.

“You mean he wants to become mortal again?” she asked. Willow just nodded her head.

“But…that can’t be. I mean, this is Spike—The big, bad master vampire. He loves being a vampire. Why would he give that up? ” The blonde rambled. Willow shrugged, she didn’t understand it either.

“I think it’s quite obvious.” Anya commented from behind the register. She was sick of the girls babbling, it interfered with her counting money. 7

“Yah? Are you going to enlighten us then?” Buffy snapped at her.

“Spike loves Xander more than he loves being a vampire. Not that complicated. Would you now be quiet or go someplace else, I’m counting.” Anya said without looking up from her money. Buffy sank down next to the redhead.

“We have been terrible friends.” She said. Willow agreed.

“Let’s try to be better, from now on.” She told the girl next to her.

“Counting” Anya reminded them.

 

3 months later,

Xander was sitting in the magic box looking at Tara and Willow. He let out a small sigh. They look so in love. Everybody seemed to be paired up. He was so jealous of them all. Buffy was with a guy called Mark, a mortal she saved from being sacrificed to a demon lord or something. He had become the new token human, a job Xander gladly past down. Dawn had found a boy in her class she was totally smitten with. The boy didn’t know a thing about what goes bump in the night and Dawn wanted to keep it that way. So, they didn’t see too much of the two. Anya had herself another beau every other week or so. Some were human, some not, she didn’t care either way. Even Giles landed himself a boyfriend, none other than…Ethan Rayne.

The guy showed up about a month ago—just walked into the shop and planted one on Giles. When the kiss ended, he told Giles that he would do anything just as long as the other man stayed with him. The kids were sure the English man would kick the mage out, but to their surprise Giles simply took off his tweed jacket and glasses. Then, he grabbed Ethan’s head and pulled him back in for a kiss. Apparently, Giles was a great kisser because, in a matter of seconds, Ethan was a whimpering mess. When Giles came up for breathe, he bit Ethan on the neck and whispered something into the mage’s ear. After that, Ethan pulled the other man out of the shop, leaving 3 shocked Scooby’s and a grinning ex-vengeance demon. Willow had mumbled something about understanding the need to clean glasses. Buffy went downstairs and tried to punch the image out of her head. Anya asked Xander if he was as turned on as she was, which resulted in a disgusted look from the boy.

“Ahn, I see that man as my father.” He had told her. She just shrugged.

“So, that just means you now also have a papa.” She said. So, Ethan stayed and Xander annoyed the crap out of him by calling him pops or papa. It also resulted in Xander finally having the courage to call Giles dad, but they never spoke about that little development. Xander saw that the two where good for each other. Giles kept the chaos mage in check and Ethan made him let out Ripper now and then. Xander loved going over to their place, it felt like a family…just like the Pratt’s house had once felt. There was just one thing missing—Lee. Though it didn’t hurt as much as when he thought the other was dead, the hole in Xander’s chest grew every day he was alone. He knew Lee would come back, so in the meantime, Xander concentrated on work, slaying and magic. It was magic that he was trying to do at that moment. But, it was quite hard to concentrate, when you’re magic study buddys were all lovey-dovey and too busy snogging each other to notice him. Just when Xander got up to leave the happy couple alone, Buffy stormed in. She was followed by Mark carrying donuts. Xander sat back down.

“Research time?” He asked.

“What other reason can there be for donuts?” Mark said.

“Ha, my young padawan, there are many reasons for donuts.” Xander responded.

“Teach me the way of the donut, oh master.” was Mark response. Buffy rolled her eyes.

“You guys helping or are you to busy learning the way of the donut?” the girl asked. Xander just laughs.

“Sorry, Buff, it’s just our nerdy way of greeting each other.”

“Yeah yeah, just don’t steel my boyfriend.” She told him. Mark wrapped his arms around her waist.

“You know nothing can take me away from you.” He said before kissing the blonde. Xander felt another flash of jealousy and slammed the books on the table.

“So, what are we researching?” he barked. Buffy at least looked sorry.

“Right, so, we have the name of the new evil. It’s called the first. We’re here to find something more about it.” She explained while opening her book. Xander hated research without Lee. He remembered before, him lying on the bed listening while Lee sat at the bureau reading out loud. Sometimes, it lulled him to sleep, but more times than not, it ended with the both of them in the bed. Without Lee, this stuff was just so bland and boring and a constant reminder he was gone. Xander hated that. He didn’t see the point in reading them all the slow way. So, he laid them on the table before him. He stretched his hands out above them. His magic surrounded them until the light of it turned black. “Well, there’s nothing in these” Xander told his friends. “I’m out.” He grabbed his jacked and left the shop as quickly as possible. Willow got up to go after him but was stopped by her girlfriend.

“He just needs to be alone for a while. I think research reminds him of Spike.” The witch told her. So they let the mage go.

 

Spike screamed in pain. The demons trials weren’t easy, but Spike held on…he did this for Lex. Just one more and then he could go back to him. He needed to remember this while the bugs were crawling through his head. After what seemed like hours, the bug finally disappeared. Spike had just enough time to draw an unneeded breath before the demon came closer and put his fingers in Spike’s head. A blinding pain went through him. When the pain stopped, Spike opened his eyes. He wasn’t in the cave anymore. He stood in the middle of Xander’s room in London. In the bed was a very human version of him. Lex sat beside him. Spike knew this scene…it was the night William got attack by vampires; the night he kissed Lex for the first time. Spike didn’t know why he was there. Was this part of the trial? Spike looked on as William opened his eyes. Lex gave him something to drink while helping the boy up. Before he could pull away, William grabbed his wrist.

“Lex,” William began, “I thought I was going to die.” Lex wanted to say something, but William shook his head no.

“Lex, I’m not stupid. I read enough to know what they were. If you hadn’t of been there, I would be dead. I knew I was gonna die. And, you know what the scary thing was?” William asked him. Lex just shook his head.

“The scary thing wasn’t dying, but to know that you didn’t know what you mean to me. You’re probably going to hate me after this, but I need you to know.” The blond pull him down to kiss Lex’s soft lips. It was over in less than a second. William looked at his hands mumbling excuses.

“I’m sorry, Lex, I think I love you.” After saying this, William closed his eyes. Instead of the kiss Spike knew happened, Lex’s face morphed into a look of disgust. He slapped William.

“You’re disgusting, fag, get away from me.” Lex screamed. Spike saw tears in William’s eyes.

“No!” The vamp screamed at his younger self. That’s not what happened. “He loves us. He never did anything like this.” The scene in front of him changed….

William was standing in the sunroom at Cecily’s party, but instead of Cecily towering above him, it was Lex. The brunet had a superior look on his face.

“You’re beneath me.” The boy said over and over again. Spike closed his eyes.

“This is not what happened.” He kept repeating to himself. He opened his eyes when he heard screaming. The scene had changed again…this time, Xander was screaming at Spike.

“You’re a monster. You killed him.” These kinds of visions went on for a while, always with Xander refusing either William or Spike. Then, they suddenly changed. Not only was Spike no longer just a spectator, he was now a part of the visions. The nature of the visions became more violent.

 When the first of these new visions came, Spike thought it worked…that it was over. He had passed the test and was human again. But, when he tried to get up, he felt his hands and feet were bound. His chest felt wet and sore. He saw Lex as he turned his head. The look on the other’s face was something he had seen on Angelus’ face plenty of times, but never on his Lex.

“So, you’re awake.” The man with Lex’s face said. “You know, I hate it when my toys check out before I’m done with them. Just for that, I’m having some extra fun with you.” The man took a knife from the table next to him. With one long swipe, he opened the blonde’s chest, the sadistic smile never leaving.

“You’re a whore.” He sneered, “I bet you enjoy this. At least somebody is paying attention to you.” Spike closed his eyes he couldn’t stand what happened next. He heard himself screaming while Lex was laughing.

“No Lex never did that.” Spike repeated over and over in his head. “This couldn’t get any worse.” he thought. And then the scene chanced jet again.This time, William was raping Xander. The look on the brunet’s face turned the master Vampire into a whimpering mess, curling in on himself. He just kept crying. He couldn’t even find the strength remind himself that it wasn’t true. He just begged for it to stop. It’s safe again. Even with his eyes closed, Spike noticed the light change. He refused to opened them, knowing he couldn’t take any more of this.

“William, get up.” A female voice told him. Spike opened his eyes, barely able to lift his head…let alone get up. Standing beside him, was a young girl. She helped him up and sat him on a chair before she joined two other figures standing before him. One was a very pregnant woman and beside her stood a hunched figure of an old woman dressed in black. They all looked alike and Spike figured them to be family or something.

“Who are you?” Spike managed to get out. His voice sounded raw after all the crying and screaming, but the women understood him. The old women let out a laugh.

“We are the three faces of the same being.” Was her answer.

“We are the Virgin, Mother and Widow, we are Virtue, Fertility and Wisdom. We are the Goddess of the moon.” They said in unison. Spike was dumbstruck. He, a Vampire, was in the presence of the mother of all. He had no idea way the goddess would lower herself like that, but he was sure it couldn’t be anything good.

“Don’t fear us, Will.” The youngest said, “We are here to help you. You have a hard task before you. We are very sorry, but until the task is complete, not even we can restore your humanity. The powers that be made sure of that.” The last part was spoken louder. The Mother laid a hand on the Virgin’s shoulder to calm her.

“We can make it easier for you. We will remove the device in your head and give you a soul to replace it.” The Mother told him. “But, young man, that is not all we give you.” The Widow continued,

“We will give you all the tools to protect the man that of yours. You will always know where he is. When he needs you; you will know and be able to be there. Your hands will bring him strength and heals him. When you both have proven yourselves, we will restore what was lost and give you a final gift.” The Virgin gave Spike a kiss on his cheek. “Now, go and never again forget the poet you truly are.” A white light flashed and Spike found himself back in the demon’s cave. The demon was nowhere to be seen. Spike’s body hurt all over, but he wasn’t going to take any risk by staying there. Using the wall of the cave, he stumbled outside.


	9. chapter 8

Chapter 8

Xander was closing the fridge door for the 10th time that evening. He didn’t take anything from it. Just stared at the content before deciding there was nothing there and closing the door again. He got back to the couch watching some TV show that didn’t really interested him.

Anya was out whit the rest of the girls on their weekly girl’s only night. No boy’s allowed not even gay ones. Whit a sight he sat down again and starting switching channels hoping to find something good when someone nocked on his door.

“Xander? It’s Mark” a voice jelled. Xander opened the door and took a step aside. Mark rolled his eyes and walked inside. Xander smiled.

“Hi Mark, what brings you hire?” the brunet asked.

“Well since the girls are out whiteout us I thought it would be nice to have our own night out. I hoped you would join us. Nothing fancy just some beer and pool. What do you think?” Mark asked.

“Did Buffy put you up to this?” Xander questioned. Mark shook his head.

“Nope. This is all me. Come on my friends wane meet the guy who survived Willow and Buffy as long as you did.” Mark tolled him.

“Ok just give me a sec.” After putting on some clean clothes Xander and mark went to a sports bar. Mark’s friends where already there.

“Xander those are my friends, John, Mike, Kevin and Dan.” Mark introduced them.

“Dan was whit me when I met Buffy.” Mark explained. Xander knew the first time he and buffy met was when he and a friend (Dan apparently) where prepped to be sacrificed to some snake demon. Dan was a shy looking blond. He looked younger than the rest. Next to him was john the embodiment of a jock. Right down to the sports jacked draped at the back of his stool. Mike and Kevin where twins and the way they carried themselves reminded Xander of the Weasly twins. They both hade the exact mischievous smile he always imagined when he was reading about them in the books.

“So Xan man. Can we call you that? Willow always does.” John said shaking Xander’s hand. Before Xander could answer one of the twins had taking his hand.

“Willow tolled us so much about you.” He smiled the twin next to him frowned his brows.

“Where are the Hawaiian shirts? Willow tolled us you where Hawaiian shirts.” He pouted. Xander smiled.

“Yha Wills isn’t use to me not wearing them. I just moved back and while I was away my style changed. No more oversized Hawaiian shirts for my.” Xander explained. It was completely true while in the past Mrs. Pratt and Lee make Shure he only wore clothes that actually fitted him. Outside work Mrs. Pratt took him to the best tailors in London. He always joked he was the best dressed carpenter on that side of the pond. When he came back he wasn’t going to go back to the crap he wore before meeting them. Tonight he was wearing he slim fitting red shirt and a pair of dark almost black blue jeans. When he bought them Buffy had huffed that it looked like something Spike would were.

“So Xander take I seed while I get us something to drink.” Mark said. “What’s your poison?”   He asked. Xander sat down next to Dan while answering.

“scots no ice” He told the other man. The other guy’s at the table all asked for another beer and Mark went up to the bar.

“So Xander how do you do it?” One of the twins asked.

“Do what?” Xander asked puzzled by the question.

“Being around all those chicks whiteout a serious case of blue balls.” The other twin said. Xander laughed.

“Wills had me and Jessy whipped by the time we were 5. I once thought I had a crush on Buffy. She kind a nocked that out of me. I discovered I was gay not long after that so Yha that helped.” Xander explained.

“You’re gay?” john asked. Xander let out a sight. Of course the jock needed to focus on that part of the story.

“Yes. Is that a problem?” Xander asked him.

“Of course not John said. It’s just you don’t seem the type.” John tried to explain.

“The type? So what do you think is the type to be gay?” Xander asked him.

John was a little taken back at the cold tone.

“Hm well Dan hire.” The blond of the group immediately went red and one of the twins slapped the Jock against the back of his head.

“You know dam well Dan hates it when you do that.” The other one scolded.

“What it’s not like Xander has a problem whit Dan being gay! He’s gay himself.” Jack defending himself. The twin that hit him was about to open his mouth when Dan stopped him.

“That’s not the point john.” He said “It’s my life and my choice when or even if I share that whit anybody. And Kevin” He said turning to the twin who hit the jock.

“It’s great you wane protect me. But I’m a big boy and I can stand up for myself. The blond turned to Xander. “Sorry about that the twins are my foster brothers and a little overprotected of me. The sometimes forget I’m not a scared little six year old that needs there protection 24/7 anymore.” Dan explained. Xander smiled.

“No problem. The girls are the same. They still not used to the fact I’m every bit as capable defending myself as they are.” Dan raised his eyebrows a little. It surprised him hearing this. But he didn’t interrupt Xander.

“So Dan if you’re not six anymore how old are you?”

“I’m 19 the twins are 21 just like john. They played baseball together.” Dan told him.

Mark was finely ready at the bar and came back his hands full.

“A little help pleas.” He asked. The al took their drinks. To his own surprise Xander really enjoyed the evening. Especially talking to Dan. He loved his girls but it was nice to talk about guy stuff. After an evening of sports and talk the group was ready to go home.

“Kevin your brother and John don’t need to come whit us tonight. Xander’s home is the same direction as mine and Dan’s. Mike opened his mouth like he wanted to protest but Mark interrupted him.

“Don’t worry we are save whit him.” Mike nodded his head.

“Someday you are gone tell us why you trust your girlfriend and her friends more than us.” Said Kevin right before the tree of them left.

“So they don’t think you guys are save whit me or the girls?” Xander asked “What do they know?” Xander was suspicious of these guys. Now they acted like there was something more going on in Sunnydale. Of course it was true but most people didn’t see past the ignorance curse on the town.

Dan shrugged. “Not much really. They know something is wrong whit this city they just don’t know what.” Dan started to explain.

“They come in handy avoiding ‘the gangs on pcp’ tough.” Mark cut in. That intrigued Xander.

“What do you mean?”

“Well we don’t know why but if the scary things come in a half a mile radius of the twins Kevin knows it and Mike finds a way to avoid him.” Mark explained.

“It’s something they did since we were kids.” Dan tolled him. “So now your question is answered I have some of my one.”

Xander spread his arms.

“Ask away I’m an open book.”

“How are you as capable as a slayer 2 witches and an Ex vengeance demon?” Dan asked.

Xander let out a small laugh. “You know them beter then the rest of your group then.”

“I was there when me and Mark where getting sacrificed remember. I saw them in action so Yha I wane know how you top that.” Dan said.

“Well I don’t think I top them but I have powers of my one.” Xander opened his hand and a small light bulb glowed above it. Sculpting it to a stake

“This little thing kills almost every nasty I have come across.” Xander closed his hand again and the stake despaired. Dan’s eyes grew wide.

“So what mutants are real to?” Xander laughed.

“Don’t worry I’m not a x-men just an energy mage. Don’t feel bad though I taught that to the first time it happened. You already know what wills and Tara do?” Xander asked Dan nodded.

“Well they use power they loan from the earth me on the other hand I have my on supply of never ending magic energy. Its like a water spring I can take as much as I want as long I don’t take to much at a time. I tent to pas out when I overdo it. But after like a shit ton of rest I bounce right back.” Xander explained.

“So you’re like scarlet witch or wiccan? You just wish something and it happens?”

“I don’t wish I learned long ago that’s a dangerous business on the Helmouth. But you can compare it to them ya.”

“Ok then” Dan said “that’s kind of neat.” Xander smiled.

“So wane tell me why the twins are so protective of you? Were you bullied as a kid or something?” Dan let out a sight.

“I was I scared little kid when I came to their home my parents were killed when I was four. I didn’t talk for 2 years and even than only to the twins or my foster mom. I never told anybody what really happened. Even as a kid I knew nobody would believe me. I didn’t really knew what was going on until a buffy saved us and explained the demon and vampire thing.”

“what do you mean?” Xander asked the boy.

“well I don’t remember everything. But when mom and dad where still alive dad used to show me his other face. It always made me laugh. Until one day a group of thing whit my dad’s other face stormed in. they wanted something from dad. He said he wouldn’t come whit them and then they killed him and mom. They didn’t touch me. Till this day I don’t know why the left me unharmed.” Dan let out a small sob Xander put a hand on the younger man’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Xander said. Dan squired his shoulders.

“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. Like I  told the twins I’m a big boy now.” Dan said.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t morn you’re parents” Xander said before changing the subject to comic books.

After they dropped Matt at the Summers house. They walked to Dan’s apartment talking and laughing until they reached Dan’s building.  

Xander pulled the boy into a hug just like he would do whit his girls. When he let go Dan put a hand behind his head and kissed him. Xander was shock he never thought he was attractive to other guys than Lee. But when the shock wore of he pulled his head back.

“Dan what are you doing?” He asked. Dan’s face palled.

“O my god. I’m so sorry. You’re not interested. I thought.. I’m sorry it’s just I don’t meet a lot of single guy’s let alone once I like. And I thought you were sending me signals or something. I’m really sorry.” Dan was about to apologize some more when Xander interrupted him.

“Dude chill. I’m flatter really but I’m not single.” Xander told him. Dan looked confused.

“But Mark told me you’re where al down because of all the coupely stuff going on in the Scooby gang.” The younger boy said.

“Yha because my boyfriend is on a soul searching trip for about 6 months now.” Xander explained. Dan hit himself.

“I shouldn’t have assumed. I’m such an idiot.” Xander laid a hand on the man’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. Like I said its flattering. You know you’re like the first male friend I have made in ages so I would hate to see it going south because of something like a kiss. What do you say friends?” Xander asked. Dan smiled.

“That would be great. What about the new X-men movie next week.” Xander punched Dan shoulder.

“You and I think the same. Just let me know the time and place” Xander told him before giving the boy a final hug and going home.


	10. chapter 9

Xander and Dan were walking home. They went to the latest marvel movie to celebrate Dan’s 20the birthday. The guys had planned a big party for the next weekend, but Xander liked to do something personal with his friend. On the way to Dan’s apartment, they were discussing which Avenger they would date.

“Captain America. Without a doubt. He’s the all American hero.” Dan said. Xander shook his head.

“I don’t know, he is like a cardboard cutout. Just a little too perfect for me. If I had to choose one Avenger, based on the movie only, I would go for Hawkeye. He has a much more interesting background.” Dan smiled.

“And what if you could choose any hero from Marvel?”

“Personality-wise… Wolverine. If I go on looks, only Wiccan, and if I’m not limited to hero’s Loki for sure.”

“So you like bad boys then?” Dan asked him.

“Not really, I just think Loki is interesting. He has more depth than Cap. I’m also not a big fan of big muscles. Plus, I’m a sucker for English accents.” Xander explained. The two of them kept talking and laughing until a group of demons blocked there path.

 _“_ Is there a convention going on?” Xander asked while his brain was busy dissecting the situation.

“ _There are 20 of them. Our only way out is to back up. I need to make sure Dan’s ok._ ” Xander started to back up pulling Dan behind him. One of the demons saw the movement. He made a clicking noise. 10 more demons appeared behind them.

“ _Shit_ ” Xander thought. “ _No way out of a fight._ ” The demon started talking.

“Where not in the habit of involving outsiders in our family business but the boy is never alone.” Dan straightened himself.

“I’m not your family” He said. “I’m not a demon.” The demon laughed.

“But our blood is flowing through your veins. We can’t afford half-breeds to not be initiated. So, you can join us or we are going to end it right here.” The demon grinned sadistically. Xander took on his fighting stance and accessed his magic.

"I don't think so" he said while evaporating the closest demon. The rest immediately charged. Xander pulled Dan behind him and got up his shield, shooting off magic pulses in every direction to thin the demon group. But, they just kept coming. Xander felt his energy being drained.

" _Fuck, I can't keep this up_." Xander knew that this was it. He couldn't keep doing this while his magic plummeted.

" _Shit we’re gone die. I'm sorry Lee_ " he thought. _"I need you."_ And there he was right beside him.

"Lee?" Xander asked. Spike smiled and took the brunet’s hand.

"I'm here Lex." he whispered. "You can do this. You’re the strongest person I know." He told Xander. Xander felt new energy flowing through him. Holding Spike's hand, he stood back up.

"Stay behind us." He ordered Dan. The light surrounding them grew once more and the three of them walked through the hoard of demons. Killing every demon they passed. Xander kept his shield up until he, Spike, and Dan were inside his apartment. When he turned around after closing the door, he saw Spike glaring daggers at Dan.

"Who are you and what did you do to piss them off?" He yelled. Xander stepped in between them.

"Lee, please. He didn't do anything." Spike snorted at Xander statement.

"Yeah, right. Those were G'lack demons. They are not the kind that attack with no reason." He yelled.

“They had a reason." Dan said. "My dad was a half breed." Spike’s eyebrows rose.

"And he lived long enough to produce a child?" Spike asked in disbelief. "They either turn you full demon or kill you at your 20th birthday." Spike told him.

“My dad was a teen parent. He and mom were 16 when I was born. They killed them when I was 4. I turned 20 last week. Willow has protection spells on all our houses. That must be the reason they took so long to find me." Dan explained to Spike. Spike still looked at the younger man like he wanted to eat him. Xander felt a need to step in before things got out of hand.

"Listen guys. Tomorrow we’re going to find a way to fix this mess. For now I think it’s best if you stay here." The brunet told Dan. Spike wanted to say something but Xander stopped him. “Lee, please, go to my room." After he saw the door close, he turned back to Dan. "Anya is out of town for the week with her latest beau. So you can take her room. I already have an idea of the spell I want to use so, with a bit of luck, you can go home tomorrow." Dan smiled at the other human.

"Thanks. You don't have to do this." He said.

"Of course I have. You’re my friend. Come I’ll get you some clothes you can sleep in." Dan sat on the bed when Xander walked in with a pair of sweatpants and an old Hawaiian shirt.

"So… you and Spike, huh? He said. "When you told me your boyfriend was soul searching you weren't kidding?” Xander sighed. The last thing he needed was another one of his friends judging him and Lee.

"Look Dan, I know what the others say about Spike. And most of it is probably true. But you need to understand I'm not with Spike. I'm with Lee and I know not many see the difference but I know it’s there." Xander began. Dan put up his hands stopping Xander's babbling.

"You don't need to defend who you love to me. Let’s just say I understand your attraction to Loki a little better." He smiled at Xander. Xander smiled back. Finally, a friend who just accepted him and Lee.

"Thanks man. Now go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a big day." Xander left the room. When he entered his own, he saw Spike with his back to the door and his hands in fists beside him.

"Lee? You have a whole lot of things to explain." The brunet said while he walked closer to the blonde. When he laid his hand on the vampire's shoulder, the other man went rigid. "Lee, what's going on?" He asked. Spike turned around, fists still clenched.

"What's going on!?" The blonde yelled in disbelief. "I'm out for like six months and you have already replaced me! By a half breed demon, no less! I know I'm everything you hate, but how in hell’s name is HE better!?" Spike screamed. Xander took a step back, not expecting the rage he saw in the face he loved. But, he wasn't going to take this.

"Is that what you think of me!?" The brunet screamed back. "You think so little of me that I would replace you!? Dan is my friend. He was the one listening to me whine about how I missed my amazing boyfriend. I was fucking lost without you. The only reason I didn’t off myself was some lame promise from you that you would come back. And now you're finally here. Appearing out of nowhere and you have the nerve to tread my friend… Who is the only one of my friends excepting us without making a fuss about it… Like he's evil and coming up with these stupid theories. Let me just remind you I wasn't the one dating a crazy vampire chick for 200 years!" Xander yelled.

“You’re not with him?” Spike asked, his voice small. Xander’s face softens.

“Of course not. You’re my everything.” Xander put his arms around the blonde. The vampire was shivering. The brunet guided his lover to the bed.

“So tell me, how did you just appear out of nowhere?” Xander asked.

“I think it has something to do with what the goddess of the moon promised me. It’s a long story, we better get comfortable.” Spike explained everything that happened in the last months, including the trails and his encounter with the goddesses.

“… So, basically it is going to get worse before it gets better.” Xander said. Spike just let out a sigh and nodded while crawling in to Xander’s arms. “Lee? How are you really?” Xander asked the man in his arms. Spike let out another sigh.

“I don’t know. Before you summoned me, I was going nuts. My soul was horrified with what I did and with what Angelus and Dru did to me. It hurt like hell thinking about all the people I killed. And then, suddenly I heard you in my head and I felt myself being pulled to you. The moment I appeared at your side, it got better. Before my soul felt like it was screaming, now it’s just a whispering.” Spike explained. Xander buried his nose in Spike’s hair, all the while smiling at the fact that the hair was longer and soft, the bleach slowly growing out of it.


	11. chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to make this clear I don’t own any thing!!!  
> This will be slash (male/Male)  
> I’m dyslectic and English isn’t my first language so plz forgive me for mistakes  
> I have a beta again yhea  
> That’s about all the things you need to know so enjoy.  
> Italics= thoughts  
> Bold= writing (a book or letter)

For the first time in months Xander slept the whole night without nightmares of Lee being dead.  When he woke up he pulled Spike closer. The vampire turned around kissing his anchor.

“You have no idea how much I missed this.” Spike told him. Xander smiled and kissed Spike again. They stayed like that for 15 minutes before Xander started to untangle himself.

“Time to summon the Scooby gang.” He said. Spike let out a groan.

“Do we have to?” he asked. Xander pulled the vampire out of bed.

“Come on I already got a plan. And when Dan is safe he can go home and we will have the apartment to ourselves for the next four days.” Spike smiled at that.

“Ok, let’s get started then.” After getting dressed, Xander woke up Dan and called the girls before he started breakfast. Spike walked in the kitchen only wearing his leather pants.

“Hi, Lee, there’s blood in the fridge. You want anything else?” Xander asked. Spike pulled the burned in to a hug.

“Yeah, you, but I think that’s gone have to wait.” Xander rolled his eyes at the blonde and, without saying a word, he turned around. Spike knew something wasn’t right. He walked up to Xander and put his hands on the other male’s shoulders. “Lex? What’s wrong?” the vampire asked. Xander let out a sigh.

“Nothing really.  You’ve just changed so much.” Spike pulled the human closer.

 “I know I’m not human anymore.” He started. Xander turned around before the blonde could continue.

“It’s not you being human or not. It’s you being comfortable, walking around half naked, speaking like that. I used to get you piss drunk before you even could say the word sex without turning scarlet. It kind of makes me sad that I wasn’t there to see you getting comfortable in your own skin. I wanted to be the one to make you grow and make you see how amazing you are.” Spike pulled Xander closer.

“Yeah, that would have been awesome.”  They hugged for a few minutes until they heard somebody cough near the door.

 “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I think the eggs are burning.” Dan said. Xander immediately let the vampire in his arms go and went to save breakfast.

An hour later the gang arrived. The girls had a million questions about Spike being back. Xander stopped them.

“We are not here concerning Lee.” He told the girls. “Dan has a problem with a clan of g’lang demons.” Xander, Spike and Dan explained what had happened the night before. At the end of the tale Buffy spoke up.

“So why should we help him? He’s a demon” She said. Before Xander could tell her off, Mark stood up.

“No Buffy! He’s one of my best friend’s. So his grandfather was a demon, but that doesn’t change who he is.” He yelled at her.

“These demons killed his parents when he was 4 years old. I have a plan, but if you’re going to be a bitch about it, you can leave now.” Xander told her. Buffy at least had the decency to look ashamed.

“Sorry, Xander, I didn’t mean it like that.” She said while looking at the ground.

“No you meant it exactly like that. I know what you think about demons but you need to understand the world isn’t black and white but a shitton of grey.” Xander told her “ you can even suck it up or leave now” Buffy looked ashamed.

“I will help.” She mumbled Xander didn’t said anything and moved on.

“Wills, Tara, I have a spell. It needs a little adjustment, but with your help I think we can make the clan forget Dan even exists. And, I have another one to shield his demon half from other demons so they don’t stumble upon him by accident. Buffy, I need the demon’s blood. There should still be some at the ally they attack us last night” Xander explained. Buffy nodded.

“I’m on it.” She was out of the door in an instant. Xander turned to Giles and Ethan.

“Do you have the other things I asked for?” He asked. Giles nodded and passed the sack he was carrying over to the young man. Xander thanked him.

“Dan, girls we need to start.” He said. The four of them went into the study leaving Giles Ethan and Spike alone in the room.

“So you’re back.” Giles started. Spike braced himself getting ready to defend himself.

“Relax. I know you’re anchored so you can’t hurt him even if you wanted. I just want to tell you one thing.” Spike raised an eyebrow at the other man’s statement. “Don’t leave him again. If you die…I will bring you back to life for the sole purpose of killing you again. If you do decide on going on another soul searching trip or something, you bloody well take him with you, because he wouldn’t survive being without you again.” The watcher ended his speech. Spike swallowed an insult and looked into the man’s eyes.

“Neither would I.” The vamp said. Giles nodded. Ethan clapped his hands and stood up.

“So now the threatening is over, tea anyone?” He asked.

When Buffy came back with the needed blood, though fresh as the clan had sent out a search party, it didn’t take very long to perform the spell. Once done, the three magic users felt drained, both physically and mentally, so the group decided to rest and start research up again the next day. When they were all gone, with Dan promising to pick them up the following day, Xander started shaking. Spike lifted him up without saying a word and brought him to bed. When Spike stood up to leave, Xander took his hand.

“Stay.” He asked. Spike took off his shoes and slipped under the covers. Xander’s hand found his.

“Lee? What happened after I left?” Xander asked.

“You didn’t read Edmund’s dairy?” Spike asked.

“I did, but I wanted to know how Dru got to you. The runes in our ring should have protected you from vampires.” Xander said. Spike let out a sigh.

“Yeah, I wasn’t wearing my ring.”

** Flashback: **

William was sitting at his desk. An open box in front of him. He took the ring out of it. Like he did every night since Lex disappeared, he held it between his fingers and wished his lover would just come back to him. A small knock pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Willy?” The little girl in front of him asked.

“Hello, Edna, I didn’t know you where here.” The boy asked.

“Yeah, papa was summoned by the council. Apparently, there is a clan of really strong vampires passing through. And like always, they have no idea what to do. I bet you and Ally would have stopped them in no time.” The 10 year old told him. She must have seen the grimace across Williams face when she mentioned Alexander because she stopped talking, walked up to him, and climbed up his lap to cuddle with him.

“I miss him, too.” She said in a small voice. “Is he ever coming back?” The girl asked. William let out a deep sigh.

“I don’t know princess. I’m afraid he is gone forever.”  The blonde told her looking at the ring in his palm.

“What’s that?” Edna asked.

“Lex made this for me. It protects me against all the demons and stuff.” The poet explained.

“Then why don’t you wear it?” The girl in his lap questioned. William thought about it before he answered.

“I couldn’t protect him from being taken, so I don’t deserve to be protected by him.” He told her. Edna looked at him like he was crazy, but she didn’t say anything about it. The two of them sat in silence for a while before the girl stood up and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

“I’m gonna read downstairs. You want to come with?” She asked him. William shook his head.

“No princess. I’m going to write I think.” Edna looked sad.

“You not coming out of your room isn’t gonna help.” She said before closing the door. William let out a sigh. The girl was right, but he just couldn’t muster the energy. He did it once and that was to end it all. But, he couldn’t even do that without other people butting in. So, he stayed in his room writing bad poetry and waiting for the day his promise to Edmund ended so he could follow his Lex.

Two hours later his mother stormed into his room. Apparently she was sick of him hiding in his room. She forced him in some fresh clothes. Ten minutes later he was sitting in carriage, poetry still in hand, on his way to a party.

Not even three hours later, he was walking through London with tears in his eyes. Of course, he didn’t want the dumb girl hosting the party, but she was right. He wasn’t good enough. That’s why Lex’s friends were able to take him away. Then he saw the girl in the barn and he knew what she was…Vampire. If she got him, he wouldn’t have to kill himself and he wouldn’t be living with this hole anymore. So he let the woman believe she found an easy prey and let himself become food.

When he felt the fangs on his neck, he was relieved, welcoming the dark. When he felt his lips getting wet, he first thought it was tears. He liked his lips. It was warm and tasted weird. It took his brains a few seconds to register it as blood. He wanted to stop, he knew what would happen if he drank it. His brain was screaming at him to stop, but his body just didn’t listen. He felt the arm being pulled away and when his world turned black, he hoped Lex was right and the thing he would become wouldn’t be him.

** End flashback **

“In the beginning, I thought you were wrong about the whole soul thing. Because, if I didn’t have my soul how could that hole still be there. I tried to stay as human as possible. But every time I spared a life, Angelus found out and he was set on making me a ‘real’ vampire.” Spike explained.

“When he noticed beating me close to death didn’t help he locked me up. They didn’t feed me for at least a month. When there was nothing but the hunger controlling me he send in two little girls. The moment they walked in all I could smell and hear was the blood pulsing true them. I drained them both in a matter of minutes while Angelus stood there laughing at me. He would ask me where my high morals were, telling me I was no better then them, and that I need to stop pretending. He repeated this for close to 3 years, with the longest I went without food was six months. After that, I just couldn’t fight anymore. I gave up…became a killer just like him. Through the years, I learned that the more I embraced my demon the easier it was to keep going. I stopped fighting and put you in the farthest corner of my mind. Because of this, the only thing I remembered was hazel eyes and pain. I’m not proud of it, but I don’t think I would have survived otherwise.”  Spike ended his story. Xander had kept quiet during it. Spike couldn’t look at the brunet so he was surprised when a pair of arms surrounded him. Xander buried his nose in the vampire’s cold neck.

“Lee, please, don’t do this to yourself. You didn’t have a choice.” Xander began. Spike pulled out of his lover’s arms.

“But I had! I could have ended it!” Spike said. Xander got angry.

“Yeah, you could have done that, but where would that leave me? Our paths were set out long ago. If you had died, Angel would have never offered me to you and I wouldn’t wish for a place to belong. I would never have met you. So, no, you didn’t have a choice. It was bloody well meant to be.” He yelled at the blonde. Spike was baffled by all this. He never thought about it like that.

“So, no matter what we did, I was always meant to become a vampire?” He asked. Spike was shaken by this notion. Xander saw the distress on his lover’s face. He enclosed the vampire in a tight hug.

“Please, Lee, let’s not think about that. We have been given a chance first by meeting each other and now by this. Let us use it. I need you. And maybe, Fate knew that so she sent me to you. It’s no use asking yourself ‘what if’. We are here with each other isn’t that enough?” Xander pleaded. Spike let out a sigh.

“This time travel is giving me a bloody headache. Let’s go to sleep.” Xander nodded pulled the covers back over them and snuggled even closer to the blonde. He had hoped on something more this evening but the conversation had efficiently killed the mood. He noticed Spike was already asleep. Xander let out a small sigh, kissed his lover’s head, and soon followed him to sleep.

 


	12. chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to make this clear I don’t own any thing!!!  
> This will be slash (male/Male)  
> I’m dyslectic and English isn’t my first language so plz forgive me for mistakes  
> I have a beta again yhea  
> That’s about all the things you need to know so enjoy.  
> Italics= thoughts  
> Bold= writing (a book or letter)

A week has past and Xander was getting a little frustrated. Since Lee had come back they hadn’t had more than 10 min of alone time. Nights not included. But by the time they saw a bed they were both too exhausted to do anything else but sleep. Xander had enough. He was gone have some alone time whit his boyfriend no matter what. He has warned the girls he would hide al her chocolate. He had planned it all out starting whit diner. He knew food  didn’t tasted the same the same as before William was turned but Spike was one of the few vamps he saw enjoying food so he thought it was a safe bet. So now he was waiting next to a table filled whit all the food William used to like. He hoped it wouldn’t take to long for Lee to come home. When the door finally opened Xander was almost sick whit nerves.

“Hello” He said.

“What’s this?” Spike asked.

“Well I thought it was about time we got to know each other again. You know without the girls looming over us awing every time we smile at each other.” Xander explained.

Spike scoffed. “Yhea everyone except Buffy she still gives me the evil eye every time I even think of touching you.” Xander laughs.

“Well she isn’t here. I cooked your favorites at least it was two hundredth years ago. I don’t know if you still like it. But I don’t really know what you like now except for blood of course.” Xander took a deep breath ready to continue his rant when he saw Spikes face. The vampire was smiling at him. The soft smile Lee always had when he was ranting he hadn’t seen it on Spike jet. Seeing that smile stopped Xander. He gapped struggling to put that soft shy smile together whit the ruff independent punk Spike was now.  Spike saw the stunned look on the brunets face. The vampires smile grew wider more confident. He walked to the man he loved and laid his hands against his cheek.

“Thank you.” The blonde said. “I always loved your cooking let’s eat.” The two of the sat down them had a lovely meal. Spike talked about all the artists he met during his long live. Especially the rock stars he loved from the very beginning. He told Xander how it felt that the hard ruff music and the often poetic lyrics represented him more than any music before and after that.

After dinner they moved to the couch. Xander draped over it whit his head on Spikes lap. While the vampire was playing whit the man’s hair and singing softly. Xander just listened letting himself be engulf in the sound of Spikes voice. Xander enjoyed it but he still felt like there was missing something.

“Are you ever gone kiss me again?” He asked the blond. Spike froze mid stroke. He didn’t thought the other man would wanted a monster like him to kiss him. So he had kept his distance the last few weeks. But he wasn’t one to deny a chance like this. He bent down and captured the brunet’s lips. Xander immediately put his hands in to the vampire’s hair and deepened the kiss. A moan escaped Spike’s mouth it was like a starting shot. Xander pulled the vampire on him. Exploring every inch of his body. It wasn’t as warm as it used to be and there were a lot more scars then he remembered. But when he flicked Spike’s nipple the moan that escaped the blonde’s mouth was exactly the same as two hundredth years ago. Feeling his lover again was amazing. He forgot everything around himunfortunately he also forgot the fact they were one a narrow chough. Witch he was brutally reminded of when they fell of it. “Au” Xander screamed. When he didn’t saw stars anymore he noticed the weight of his boyfriend was missing. When he looked around he saw the vampire hurled in a corner. His hands in his hair and his eyes closed. When Xander approached he vampire he could hear what the blonde was mumbling. “No. I won’t hurt him. It isn’t true. I never hurt him. It wasn’t real.”“Lee?” Xander asked. But there was no response. “Lee. Look at me please.” Xander put a hand on the blondes shoulder. Slowly the vampire’s eyes opened. Fear visibly in Spikes eyes.“Lee? Watts wrong.”“I’m sorry Lex.” Spike started. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please tell me you’re ok?” He begged. Xander took Spike’s hand into his own.“Lee. I’m fine it was an accident. No harm done.” Xander told him. Spike let out a sight. Xander pulled the still shivering vampire into his arms. Xander pulled the still weeping vampire close to him.“Lee? What’s wrong? Why are you acting like this?” He asked. Spike pulled head from the brunets shoulder. He took a deep breath and told his lover everything he saw before the goddess saved him. Afterwards he was a mess tears where streaming freely from his eyes. Xander was rocking him whispering words of love in to his ears. He whipped away the vampire’s tears stood up and pulled the blonde whit him to the bedroom. He laid him down in to the bed and snuggled close to his lover. Spike fell asleep listening to Xander’s kind words.“You never hurt me. I’m save. You love me and I love you. You are my safe place.” Xander kept telling the vampire even long after the blond had fallen asleep. The next day Spike woke up to the sound of the shower running. He stood up and went to the kitchen to heat himself some blood. The kitchen wasn’t empty like he expected. Dan was standing in the kitchen putting something in the fridge. Spike made a noise and Dan turned around.“Oh hello William.” The young man greeted him. “Xander called to ask if I could bring some blood. Apparently he forgot to restock and he didn’t want to leave you alone. So if you want some I can heat you a cup.” Spike was chocked. Lex had told him Dan was ok whit the fact that Spike was a vampire. But the way he spoke to Spike and the fact he offered to heat his blood like he did does kind of things on a daily basis surprised him greatly.“Yhea thanks.” Spike said while his particle fell in his seat. Dan didn’t say anything while heating the blood. He put the cup in front of the blond and sat down in front of the vampire.“So what’s wrong?” The man asked the vampire. Spike raised his eyebrow at the blond in front of him.“Why would there by anything wrong?” Spike asked.“Well first of all you said thanks.” Dan started. “And second. You and Xander just spend a whole evening alone. You should be grinning like a mad man. Instead you look like someone killed your favorite superhero and Xander looked like he hadn’t slept last night. And not in the I shagged the night away way. But more in the I’m worrying so I can’t sleep way.” Spike wanted to deny what the man said but the look in the blonde’s eyes told him he wouldn’t let this go.“Why the bloody hell do you care?” He snapped. Dan looked right in Spike’s eyes.“Because I love Xander and I want him to be happy. You are the only thing that really makes you happy.” He answered. Spike wanted to rip the boy’s head of when he said he loved his Lex. But the rest of the speech made him realize Dan wouldn’t take his love away. The vampire let out a sight and took a long drink of his blood.“I should kill you for that comment.” The vampire treated. Dan wasn’t fazed the least.“Stop stalling and answer the question.” He said. Spike gave up the half bread would keep pushing him. He might as well just give in.“I just can’t risk hurting him. When I got my soul back I went thru a series of trails in one of them they showed me visions to break me. And the one that where the worse where the ones I where I just kept hurting him. I screamed for the other me to stop. But I was locked inside myself. He cried and beg but I wouldn’t stop. What if I lose control and hurt him like that?” Spike couldn’t believe he was telling al his fears to somebody he hardly knew. “Ha seems like you have at least inherit one G’lack power. I can’t seem to lie to you. You just made me sound like that poof of I sire.” Spike complaint. Dan ignored Spike’s final words.“If you’re scared of losing control give control to Xander.” He told Spike. Spike raised a brow.“You do know I’m a hell of a lot stronger than him. Don’t you?” Spike asked.“Oh please.” Dan responded. “Xander is one of the most powerful mages know to men. Don’t you think he can hold you down? The man stated. Spike didn’t respond but drank again. A plan forming in his mind. Xander walked in. his hair still damp from the shower. He kissed Spike.“Morning Lee. Hello Dan thanks for bringing the blood. Are you coming to the Scooby meeting?” Xander asked. Dan nodded yes and Xander turned to his love.“You’re coming tonight? Or are you taking the tunnels to the magic shop?” He asked the vampire.“If you don’t mind I will come after dark.” He responded. Xander looked worried. But he didn’t say anything about it he just nodded and kissed spike again.“Okay Lee see you tonight then.” Dan and Xander left the apartment. The minute the door closed spike started to make some phone calls setting his plan in motion. Spike called Willow first asking her and Buffy for another free evening it took him six tubs of Ben & Jerry’s but he knew it was worth it. After that he made reservations at his favorite restaurant. It carter to both humans and demons. And then he made one final call to a magic shop in LA. (No way he was gone buy what he needed at Gilles the man would have his head.) Five minutes later he was in his car to pick up the package. When he came back it was just getting dark. So he drove right to the magic shop. He had dressed before his little trip to LA so he didn’t need to worry about that. A smirk appeared on his face when he imagined the Scooby’s reactions to his current outfit. He would enjoy the shock he shock from the girls and the watcher. Dan would just ²none of their reactions really mattered. He was doing this for Lex and Spike knew the brunet would love it. Spike took one last look into his car mirror. He ruffled his now bleach and gel free hair until it looked perfect. And he left the car. Ready to shock the Scooby’s. Xander was looking in jet another magic book. He believed he had read Gilles entire collection. It was necessary. Xander closed his book and stretched.“You know.” Xander said. “Maybe we need to spilt ore research.” He suggested.“What do you mean?” Gilles asked.“Well we are putting all our arrows on finding to stop the first. But meanwhile innocent girls are getting murder all over the world. Maybe we need to find a way to find them so we can keep them safe.” Xander explained. Tara nodded.“I think Xander is right. We need to safe those girls.” She said. Gilles agreed Xander and Tara.“How do you think we find these girls?” Gilles asked them. Xander thought for a moment.      

“We can do a spell to pull the girls to Sunnydale and then another to identify them.” Xander explained.                                                                                                                                 

“Ok you Willow and Tara work on the spells. The rest of us will look for the first.” Gilles said. The three magic users went to sit together designing the spells while the rest of the Scooby’s went back to research.

About two hours later the spell was complete and they were listing all the needed ingredients when they heard the bell. The gang looked up. Xander smiled when he saw the man in the door. He was wearing tight black pants whit a white button up shirt whit a tight dark green vest and a long coat.  It really looked like a modern version of the clothes he would where in the past. And it still looked amazing on his lover. The soft curls of blond hair framed the face so utterly beautifully. It was the first time he wore his hair lose. Anya stood up.

“Hello sir. What can I help you buy?” She asked. The blonde smiled.

“Just here to pick up my guy.” He responded. The rest of the gang looked up again. “Spike!?” Buffy jelled.

“Oh my you look so non vampire like.” Willow told him. Spike just smirked. Xander stood up and hugged the vampire.

“Lee. You look amazing.” He told the blond.

“Thanks love.” Spike said pulling the human closer and kissed him softly. “Are you ready?” Spike asked him.

“Ready? For what?” The brunet asked.

“For our date.” Spike told him.

“Lee. I don’t know if we have the time.” Xander started. Looking at the papers across the table.

“Don’t worry Xander. We have almost everything ready and the things we miss don’t come in before tomorrow. So go enjoy your night.” Willow told him.

“You’re sure?” Xander asked one more time.

“Xander just go and have fun and rest. You will need it tomorrow.” Dawn tolled them while holding the door for them. When the door closed Gilles stood up. I believe Dawn has a point. Its late lets al get some rest.

Spike held the door of the Desoto open and Xander got in. The car stopped at a posh looking restaurant. They entered and the maître walked up to them.

“Table for two under Pratt.” Spike tolled the man.

“Of course sir would you follow me?” The man guided them to a table close to the window witch looked out at a beautifully lighted garden.

“You could have warned me. I feel underdressed.” Xander told the blond. Spike looked at his boy. Black jeans and a dark blue button up shirt.

“You look amazing.” The vampire said. The boys sat down and Spike ordered there drinks.  A few hours later at dessert Spike pulled a package out of his jacked.

“What’s this?” Xander asked him.

“It’s called a present love?” Spike said. “Open it.” Xander smiled and pulled the paper of the box. When he opened it he was surprised. He saw black leather cuffs whit red inscriptions. Xander had no idea what that supposed to mean. He looked at Spike completely puzzled.    

“They are magic.” Spike explained. “You can poor you’re magic in them and when you put them around my wrist. I will lose my strength. This whey I wouldn’t be able to hurt you. Not even if lose my control.” Spike said. Xander looked at the man in front of him in disbelieve.

“Do you think I don’t trust you? That I need something like this to feel save whit you?” Xander’s voice grew louder whit each word. “Do you think I’m scared of you?” The last part was barley heard because of the tears closing of his throat. Spike took the brunets hands between his.

“I know you’re not afraid of me. But I’m afraid of me. Don’t you see I need to make sure your save? Even from me. So please do this. For me.” Spike explained. Xander’s eyes softened at the vampire’s confession.

“I still don’t think we need something like this. But if it makes you feel better I will do this for you.” He said. “You wane go home?” The human asked his lover. Spike smiled and signal the waiter for the bill.


	13. chapter 12

Later, at Xander’s apartment…

Xander placed his hands on the cuffs which here already around his lover’s wrist. He closed his eyes and let the magic loose in the cuffs. Spike felt the cuffs warm up. It wasn’t uncomfortable and Spike knew that the comfort had much to do with the intention of the magic. When Xander released his hands, Spike put them behind the human’s head and pulled him into a heated kiss. Xander responded by pulling the vampire even closer.

“Lee.” Xander begged.

“Tell me what you want Lex.” Spike whispered in his ear.

“I want to be inside you Lee. It’s been too long.” Spike shivered at the words.

“Yes. Oh god yes.” He moans while unbuttoning Xander’s shirt. Xander’s hands were on the blonde’s pants undoing the zipper. Xander was surprised when he saw Spike’s cock bobbing out instead of the underwear he was expecting. He looked up to Spike’s eyes.

“Wanted to make it as easy as possible love.” Spike explained. Xander let out a small laugh.

“You are a horny little bugger.” He laughed, while getting to his knees. “Well, nobody can claim I’m one to let opportunities pass.” Xander took Spike’s cock in to his hands, lightly blowing on the tip. Spike shivered and let out a soft moan.

“Lex, give me more.” Spike pleaded. Xander took the long shaft in his mouth. It was a strange sensation, the flesh in his mouth being cold. Xander was determined to warm up his lover and slowly started bobbing his head along the length of Spike’s cock. Spike tangled his hands in the soft hair of his love… not interfering with the movements, but just letting his lover know he was there. Xander let the cock leave his mouth. A disappointed sound left Spike’s mouth. Xander kissed him.

“Don’t worry. There is more to come.” He whispered against the vampire’s lips. After another soft kiss Xander laid two fingers against Lee’s lips.

“Suck.” He ordered. Spike opened his mouth and let the fingers slid inside. He curled his tongue around them and sucked lightly. When he felt they were wet enough, Xander pulled them out and went back on his knees. The wet hand slipped behind one finger circling the vampire’s entrance. The brunet felt the muscle clench a little when he put his finger against the opening. His other hand was holding Spike’s dick to distract the man from the probing finger. The moment the finger finally entered Spike, Xander sucked the penis back into his mouth. Spike’s hands went back into Xander’s hair, this time with more force.

“Bloody hell.” He moaned. Xander just continued sucking in time with the probing of his fingers. His own cock leaking pre cum as he anticipated being where his fingers where buried. After several more moments he pulled out his fingers.

“Bed!” He ordered. Taking off his shirt and pants, Spike obeyed immediately. Completely naked, he all but ran through the living room into Xander’s bedroom. Xander followed the blond into the room.

The sight took his breath away. Spike was draped across the bed, completely naked and lazily playing with his cock.

“You coming? Or do I need to finish myself of?” Spike asked. Xander growled, taking off his own clothes in record time. Joining his lover on the bed, Xander opened the drawer next to the bed.

“Turn around.” He said, while pulling out the lube. When he looked back at the bed, he saw Spike’s ass sticking up proudly in the air. Xander slid into place behind his lover, his dick bobbing in anticipation. But, Xander was determent to let Lee enjoy this as much as he could. He pulled Spike’s cheeks aside. He saw that beautiful hole twitching and slightly open from his fingers earlier. With one swift move, he licked from Spike’s balls to the waiting hole. His tongue played in and out of the ring of muscle while he held the vampire in place with his hands on his hips.

“Lex, please, I need more.” Spike begged. Xander moved up and wrapped himself around Spike, his chest against the cold back. He put his teeth on Spike’s earlobe and bit down a little.

“You want my cock in you?” he purred.

“Yes, Lex, fuck me.” The vampire begged. Xander sat up and flipped the vampire around. Squeezing the lube into his hand and stroking his dick with it, Xander then used the remaining lube on his fingers to stretch and lube Spike a bit more. He put Spike’s legs onto his shoulder and guided his shaft towards the waiting hole.

“You’re ready?” He asked one last time. When Spike nodded, Xander pushed inside. Spike screamed and Xander stopped.

“Don’t Stop, Lex. Whatever you do don’t you dare to stop.” Spike moaned. Xander slowly moved around until Spike screamed again. He then continued to hit that special spot with every other trust. After a few minutes, Spike began begging again.

“More Lex. Harder. Make me cum.” Xander quickened his pace and took Spike’s cock into his hand. Pumping in the same rhythm as he was trusting, it didn’t take Spike long to cum. The pulsing of Spike’s channel spurred Xander’s own orgasm. Xander felt every one of his muscles relax and he slumped to the side of Spike, his cock slipping out of Spike’s ass. Spike whimpered at the loss.

Xander saw his cum dripping out of the vampire’s ass. “If I hadn’t just cum, I would fuck you all over again. You look fucking delicious” He told the vampire. Spike laughed pulling Xander to his side.

“Give me 10 minutes, some blood, and then I will fuck you.” Spike told him. Xander snuggled closer.

“Is that a promise?” Xander asked. The rest of the night was spent having sex and sleeping.

**_ Safe again _ **

 

The next morning, Xander was the first one awake. He simply watches the vampire curled around him, one hand resting on his chest. Xander frowned when he saw the black cuff, his fingers tracing the edges of the leather, and he saw the skin underneath raw and bruised.

“We are going to fix this” he whispered, “I don’t like you restrained.” Spike woke up to Xander starting to remove the cuff and put his hand over Xander’s.

“What are you doing?” Spike asked.

“I’m getting these things off.” Xander told him. “They are hurting you.”

“I’ve had worse, and besides I will heal.” Spike said.

“It shouldn’t have to.” Xander moped.

“You know… when I’m human again we’ll not these things anymore.” He reassured his lover. Xander finally got the cuffs off and let out a sigh.

“Then let’s hope that those bloody powers-that-be don’t take too long to try and kill us then.” He said.

 

**Six months later** …

Xander closed the door to his apartment and fell onto the sofa. He, Dan and Spike had snuck out of the Summers’ house.

“There’s just too many bloody girls in that house.” Spike complained.

“I know what you mean, mate.” Dan told him. “At least you got Xander to cuddle up to. All I have is a bunch of teenage girls wanting me as their gay best friend. I thought dyeing my hair blue would stop them from thinking I’m cute, but it didn’t changed a thing.” Xander laughed he remembered the boy walking into the flat with a bottle of blue dye yelling for Spike to come and help him. He had thrown out a dozen towels after that they were all blue.

“You know next weekend we will go out and find you a beau all of you own.” Xander said.

“I think we need to survive the apocalypse first before we go and fix my love life.” Dan told them. Spike cut in.

“Don’t wait. There is always another end-of-the-world right around the corner” He said. Xander wanted to add something when his phone went off.

“Hello.” He started. “No Wills we are at the apartment. …. I told Dawn and Tara. …. Why did you call? …… So he finally left his ivory tower. ….. Can’t it wait till morning? …. Ok ok were coming. …… Yeah we will. See you in twenty” Xander put away his phone.

“How I miss carriers, you could at least pretend you hadn’t received it.” He mumbled.

"So… that was Willow. Apparently, Deadboy and his LA team are in town. And, his broodiness needs us all there like ten minutes ago." He told the others. Spike groans. Dan looked puzzled.

“Deadboy?" He asked.

“You know, Angel, the original souled vampire." Spike explained.

“Come on. We don't want your sire to have a reason to nag you." Xander said to them.

Fifteen minutes later they enter the Summers’ house. The rest of the Scooby's and the LA gang where already in a heavy discussion.

"No! We need him in LA. Stop claiming him. You daft blonde! As I see it, you have more than enough help here.You have an army of potential slayers, for crying out loud."  Even after all these years, Xander would recognize that voice.

_“Cordelia, why in heaven’s name did Angel bring her.”_ He thought.

“Well, prom queen, that trinket you brought us only works with a souled vampire. Therefore, we need Angel.” Xander heard Buffy say.

_“_ As I heard it from Rupert, you have one of those already.” One of Angel’s crew said. The guy was unmistakable British and from the looks of it he was a watcher.

_“So that's Wesley.”_ Xander thought. He also thought it was time they let the others know they were there.

“And what do you want my boyfriend to do?” He asked. Cordelia was the first to look up.

“Oh my god, Xander, look at you. You actually turned out to be decent looking.” She told the brunet.

“Did you just give me a complement?” Xander asked. Cordelia didn't answer. She just smiled and pulled him into a hug. Xander was shocked. The girl had really changed from the self-absorbed ice queen she was in high school.

“I know you and Deadboy, but who are your friends?” Xander asked. Cordelia let go of Xander.

“This is Fred. We found her in a hell dimension.” She explained, while pulling a shy looking brunette before her. Xander and the girl shook hands before Cordelia pulled her away and pushed another girl in front of her.

“This is Faith, the second slayer.” Xander had heard that his saving Buffy, all those years ago, had triggered it so he wasn't surprised. After Faith, Cordelia introduced him to Gunn and Wesley.

“So, I have introduced my friends. Now it's your turn. Who's that blue haired hottie next to Spike?” She asked him. Xander laughed.

“That’s Dan. I don't think you're his type.” Xander tried to explain. Cordelia let out a huff and flipped her hair. She put herself in front of the Dan.

“I’m everybody's type.” She said to him.

“I’m afraid Xander’s right, miss.” Dan told her. Cordelia let out another huff.

“So what is your type, Danny boy?” She asked him. Dan let his eyes wander to the group behind Cordelia.

“Well,” He said, while his ears turned red. “Maybe someone like Wesley.” The watcher in question turned completely red. Cordelia flipped her hair again.

“Why are all the good ones gay?” She complained. Wesley coughs.

“Maybe we need to go back to the amulet, you know, the reason why we are here.” He said.

“Yes, please explain what couldn’t wait until morning.” Spike asked. Angel took it upon himself to explain what was going on. Afterwards the discussion about who of the two vampires should wear it started again.

“You know it’s quite pointless.” Dan said. At that the arguing stopped and the group all looked at the boy.

“What do you mean pointless?” Angel demanded to know.

“Well, those powers that be you all like to follow told you that the vampire with a soul will know what to do with this thing. We have two of those here and we have no way of knowing which one is going to get the revelation. So… we need them both.” Dan explained.

“That’s really insightful.” Wesley told him. “You would make a great Watcher.” Dan’s ears turned red again.

“I don’t think I would look good in tweet.” Dan said.

“Please stop flirting.” Cordy told the two. “So, you’re saying we need to stay here until Angel or Spike figures out what to do.” She asked.

“Don’t worry Cordy. We already have a plan.” Willow reassured the other woman. “We have a spell ready. We only need this axe thingy, then, Tara and I do the spell and ‘poof’ instant slayers.” The witch explained.

“Do you have the location of this axe?” Gunn asked them.

“Not yet.” Giles told him. “We have some clues to the location but we have to narrow it down.” He explained. Cordelia let out a sigh.

“So, it seems like we are stuck here. I need my beauty sleep. So where can I sleep?” She asked. This started a new discussion about sleep agreements. An hour later, Xander and Spike left the Summers’ house again, this time in company of Fred and Gunn. Anya had called her latest beau to sleep over so Fred could use her room. Gunn would crash on the couch.

Xander was quite relieved he didn’t get stuck with Angel. The vamp and Cordy were going home with Giles and Ethan, which amused Xander greatly. Of course, that left Wesley with Dan. Xander really hoped something happened between the two. Dan deserved to be happy and loved. Xander hoped Wesley would be the key to that.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Spike whispered into his ear.

“Just hoping the best for young love.” Xander said. Spike pulled him in to a tight hug.

“And what about old love?” He asked. Xander smiled and hit his lover’s arm.

“You’re so cheesy sometimes.” He said. “Just let us enjoy all love.” Xander whispered.

“Who’s cheesy now?” The vampire asked before pulling his lover into a tender kiss.

 

**Two weeks later** …

Spike was holding Xander close to his chest. The body of that lunatic priest lay next to him with the head a few feet further, where Spike had thrown it after pulling it clear off the man’s shoulders. Tears were streaming down the vampire’s cheek. Spike felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Dan, his arm hanging limp by his side.

“Spike, he needs a hospital.” The man said.

“I’m not letting him go.” Spike told him.

“Nobody is asking you to, but he needs a doctor.” Spike looked around. Dan and Xander weren’t the only wounded ones of the group. Ethan was carrying an unconscious Giles. Cordelia was limping and leaning on Angel for support. Spike stood, lifting Xander up.  “He isn’t the only one.” Spike said. “Let’s go.” The group left. Buffy was carrying the axe. Their prize. Spike just hoped the price wasn’t too high, as he looked at the boy in his arms. _“I should have protected him better.”_ The vampire thought, as they raced to the hospital.

 

**Flashback**

The Scooby’s and the LA gang where hiding in front of the winery.

“Kennedy, you, the other potentials, Wesley and Dan are the backup team. You don’t move until we give the signal.” Buffy started. “Angel, you and your team go in on the left side. Me, Giles, Ethan and Spike take the right. Xander… you, Willow and Tara go up and do the location spell.” Buffy instructed.

“No.” Spike told the blond. Buffy wanted to say something, but Spike stopped her.

“I’m staying with Xander.” Xander put a hand on his lover’s cheek.

“Don’t worry. I can take care of myself.” Xander reassured the blond. “Willow and Tara need my help with the magic and you are needed in the ass-kicking part of the plan.” Xander told him. Spike wanted to protest, but Xander pulled him into a kiss.

“I need you to trust me, Lee.” Spike pulled the brunet closer.

“I trust you. But, if anything happens to you, I will not be hold accountable.” Spike warned. Xander smiled and stepped out of the embrace. When they invaded the winery, all hell broke loose. The priest was way stronger than even Spike or Angel. He kicked Spike and Buffy out of the way and broke Giles’ arm. Ethan got angry seeing his lover hurt and tried to attack Caleb, but the priest just tossed him around like it was nothing. Angel’s team came charging in. A few seconds later, Caleb was holding Angel by his throat. Cordy’s leg had been broken by one of his minions. Buffy gave the signal and the backup team stormed in. They got crushed just like the others. Buffy tried to protect them, but she got tossed through the floor. Xander saw what was happening and left Willow and Tara, keeping them safe behind a protective barrier.

“Wait, the spell isn’t complete yet.” The redhead yelled.

“We don’t have any more time, Wills, they are getting slaughtered. They need to get out.” Xander yelled back, before running inside. He had just managed to lead the potentials outside when Caleb grabbed him.

“So, what do we have here? The One Who Sees, and what pretty eyes you have. Let’s do something about that.” The priest said while placing his thumb on Xander’s eye and pushing it out. Spike heard Xander’s scream. When he saw what was happening, he saw red. On his way to Caleb and Xander, he killed at least four minions before he got there. Without wasting time, he just took the priest’s head and pulled. Afterwards, he fell to his knees pulling Xander close.

“I’m really glad I can still see you.” Xander told him. “But, you’re getting blurry.” After that the brunet lost consciousness. Spike pulled the man closer.Spike saw Buffy crawl out of the hole in the floor holding the axe. It didn’t take long after that. They killed almost all the minions, but Spike couldn’t care less. He was too focused on the slow heartbeat of the man in his arms.

**End Flashback**

Spike was pacing. He was going nuts. The doctors had denied him access to the surgery room. Spike would have ignored the bastards, but he was being held back by not one but two slayers and, if his suspicions were right, a spell from Willow. After hours of waiting and hearing news from every other wounded. (A broken leg for Cordy. A 10-cm open wound in Dan’s arm… a concussion, 2 broken ribs, and a punctured long for Giles… and one of the potentials had a broken wrist and ankle.) But, there still was no news from Xander. Spike was getting more stressed every time a doctor came and one or more of their group left to visit the wounded. When another doctor came in, Spike was completely wound up.

“You’re here for Alexander?” the doctor asked Buffy. Spike rushed up to the pair.

“I’m here for him. Is he going to be alright?” the doctor turned to the blond.

“We couldn’t save his eye and he lost a lot of blood, but we stabilized him. The wound will take a couple days to heal, after that we could look into a prosthetic.” The doctor explained.

“Can I see him?” Spike asked. The doctor nodded and took Spike to Xander’s room. Spike sat down beside the boy.

“You know this brings back memories.” Spike told the sleeping man. “When I first met you in London, I would sit next to you for hours talking to myself. Telling you of how you turned my world upside down. You and me, we had an instant connection… at least on my part. It was the first time I felt safe and I didn’t even know you…” Spike stopped his monologue when he felt Xander squeezing his hand.

“Are you going soft on me?” Xander mumbled. Spike didn’t know what to say, so he just pulled Xander into a hug.

“You fucking told me you would be fine… And then, you go and get your bloody eye poked out.” Spike almost screamed. “What where you bloody hell thinking?” he asked. Xander let out a sigh.

“You guy’s where getting slaughtered in there. I needed to do something. Getting the girls out seemed the right thing to do.” Xander explained.

“You’re a bloody hero.” Spike complained. “It scares the shit out of me.” He confessed.

“Why?” Xander asked.

“Because, the hero doesn’t always survive.” The vampire said. Xander really didn’t know what to say to that, so he just pulled the blond closer. 

Two days later, Xander was let out of the hospital. Spike hadn’t left his side for more than five minutes. The Scooby’s and the potentials had organized a welcome home party for him at Buffy’s house, with all his favorite food and games. Xander sat on the couch looking around with a smile on his face. The potentials were having fun playing twister. Willow and Tara were making sure they didn’t break anything. Buffy was sitting with Dawn, while Mark sat beside her, her feet in his lap. Anya was dancing with Kennedy. Cordy had pulled Angel on the dance floor. Fred and Gunn were next to them, laughing at Angel’s uncomfortable face. Xander had seen Wesley and Dan walking into the kitchen a few minutes earlier. The two of them had grown incredibly close in a short period of time. They haven’t made anything official. Xander was really hoping the two of them got over themselves and confess already. Spike lay across the couch with his head on Xander’s lap. Xander was surprised at how happy he was. When he first came back, he was sure he would never feel like this again. When he looked at the clock he saw it was 4 AM.

“Lee, if you want to sleep in our own bed we need to go. It’s almost Dawn.” Xander whispered. Spike nodded and got up.

“We are going home.” The brunet told the rest of the room. The potentials protested a little, but Willow, Buffy and Dawn hugged him.

“Where’s dad?” Xander asked the girls. Buffy wrinkled her noise.

“He and Ethan excused themselves half an hour ago. They went home and they were all over each other.” The girl said. Xander smiled.

“When you see him, tell him we will come in tomorrow to finalize our plan.” Buffy nodded and then the man and the Vampire left the Summers’ house. 

**_ Slash ahead _ **

Spike was lying behind his lover. He had just woke up and saw it was only twelve. They had at least six hours before sunset. Spike knew exactly how he was spending them. As quietly as possible, he turned around and took the cuffs lying on his nightstand. After securing them on his wrists, he turned back to his lover. His hand started to explore Xander’s chest, slowly going up and down, caressing a nipple with his fingers before flicking it. Slowly Xander woke up.

“Mmm, Lee.” A soft moan escaped Xander’s mouth. Spike chuckled and took Xander’s ear in his mouth.

“Good morning.” The Vampire whispered, not stopping his caressing. Xander let out another moan and bucked up into Spike’s crotch, feeling Spike’s erection.

“Patience, love.” The blond whispered. “I’m gonna take my time with you today.” He promised. Spike started kissing up and down Xander’s neck, his hand going a little further down every time before going back up.

“Lee, please.” Xander begged.

“Tell me what you want.” Spike asked.

“Your hand.” The man pleaded.

“What do you want me to do with it?” the vampire asked once again.

“Spike, just jack me off, please.” Xander pleaded. Spike chuckled once again, but he did what was asked. Pulling down Xander’s boxers and curling his fingers around the other’s cock. Xander moaned once again. Spike’s cock twitched at the sound. Spike paused long enough to cover his other hand in lube. After that, he started to open Xander’s hole. His kept his other hand on the brunet’s dick, distracting the boy from any pain in his bottom. A second finger entered Xander and he bucks into them.

“Spike! I need more. For god’s sake.” The brunet pleaded. Spike worked in a few more fingers in, and then pulled out his fingers. Xander let out a disappointed hiss.

“Don’t worry. I will give you more.” Spike told him. After coating his dick with the lube, he guided it in to his lover’s hole. Once inside, Spike took again a hold on the younger man’s prick. Spike build up a slow rhythm, all the while whispering loving words.

“Are you gone cum for me?” he asked.

“Yes Lee. Make me cum.” Xander begged. Spike quickened his pace. It didn’t take Xander long to cum. The delicious sound the brunet made set Spike off. After coming back down from the high, he pulled Xander closer and buried his nose into Xander’s neck.

“Let’s sleep.” He mumbled into the man’s neck. “Just like this…. Me, inside you.” Xander groaned.

“Careful. You’re going to make me horny again.” Xander warned.

“Maybe later, Lex. Now sleep.” Spike mumbled. Xander laughed, but soon he and Spike were fast asleep, curled up into each other.

**_ Funky time over, you can read, safe again. _ ** **__ **

The next day was back to research, Scooby meetings and tweaking the spell. 

“No! Absolutely not.” Spike growled, pacing the room.

“Spike, we need you on the fighting side of things.” Buffy tried to explain.

“Then so will Xander.” Spike told her.

“But, he has magic… wouldn’t he be more useful with us doing the spell?” Willow purposed.

“Xander is just as good at fighting as any of you.” Spike began, but Xander interrupted him.

“Xander is also sitting right here. And… is completely capable of speaking for himself.” He spoke up. “I’m not going to sit with Wills and Tara. I’m much more useful where the fighting is.” He continued.

“It’s too dangerous.” Buffy started. Xander stopped her.

“Buffy, please, you need to stop thinking of me as a lost sixteen year old boy. Like Spike said, I’m just as capable at fighting as you and I have my magic. It’s not like Willow’s. I don’t need time to focus or words. What I do need is Spike. He makes me stronger. We make each other stronger. So stop trying to separate us.” Xander stated. “Willow and Tara can do the Spell just as well without me.” Buffy looked like she wanted to protest some more.“No, we don’t discuss this. I’m fighting and that’s final.” Xander turned to Spike.“Come on, Lee, we’re going home. Nothing’s better than a good sleep before an apocalypse. See you all tomorrow. Don’t stay up to late and spend the following hours with your loved ones.” Xander said to the room of potentials and honorary Scooby’s before leaving.

They weren’t far from the house when they heard Dan.

“Xander, Spike. Wait up.” The boy yelled. Xander turned around. Dan was running dragging Wesley behind him.“Can we walk with you guys? My apartment is on the way.” Dan asked.

“Sure. So have you read the new “Young Avengers”?” Xander asked. This led to an animated discussion, their boyfriends walking next to them. Wesley holding Dan’s hand and Spike with an arm around Xander’s waist.The boys were halfway through their discussion when they arrived at Dan’s place. Not willing to stop, they all walked up to Dan’s apartment, the two comic nerds never paused. Spike and Wesley went to the kitchen to get something to drink.

“So you and Danny boy getting serious?” Spike asked the watcher. Wesley looked shocked at the vampire’s question.

“Well, he’s a great guy. And if we survive tomorrow, I certainly want to explore these feelings further.” Wesley explained. Spike rolled his eyes.

“Listen here, Watcher junior… Don’t wait. We live in a world where every day can be our last. So, we got to live like we are Immortal. Me and Lex are gonna to leave you two and you’re gonna tell that boy how you feel. Then, you’re going to have a magical evening together, one that you will reenact many times after you survive. And if I hear that you have hurt him, I will find you and you will learn why I was a scourge of Europe. Do you understand?” Wesley was shocked from Spike’s ability to encourage and threaten him in one breath.

“Why do you care so much?” He asked the vampire. Spike shrugged

“He’s one of Xander’s best friends. And, to be honest, he’s my friend too. Treated him quite badly when I first got back, but he still had my back when the gang was against us. So, I’m returning the favor.” He told the watcher, while he hit the watcher’s shoulder.“Lex,” Spike yelled. “Let’s go, we need to be well rested for tomorrow.” He pulled Xander with him and winked one last time at the two in the living room.                   

 

**The next day** …

They were ready. Well, as ready as they’d ever be. The plan was already in motion. Willow and Tara where working the spell to wake up the potentials power. Xander pulled Spike in for a kiss.

“Let’s put this evil back into the ground.” Spike smiled.

“Let’s.”

The fight was horrible they were losing people left and right.

“ _Fuck”_ Spike thought. _“We are losing.”_ And then, he saw it, the amulet around Buffy’s neck catching the sunlight. In that moment, Spike knew what he must do. He let out a series of curses in a lot of different languages.

“Lee? What’s wrong?” Xander asked.

“I know what to do with the amulet.” Spike told him. “You need to get everyone out. Go tell them. I’m going to get the amulet.” Xander and Spike split up.

“Buffy.” Spike yelled. “I need the amulet.”

“You know what to do?” She asked.

“Yeah, I know.” The vampire responded. Buffy handed him the amulet.

“So, what is it?” She asked.

“I’m gonna wear the damn thing and I’m gonna stand in the sunlight.” Buffy didn’t know what to say.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Spike growled at her.

“But, that will kill you.” She said and Spike let out a sad smile.

“Yeah, but it will also make the hellmouth implode and it will take the first with it.” Buffy wanted to argue with the vamp.

“But, what about Xander?” she asked.

“He will be with me. If I told him to go, he would refuse and stay next to me anyway.” He told the slayer.

“That will kill him.” She argued.

“Don’t you think I know that,” The vampire yelled back. “But, there is no other option. Oh, no, there is one option. I could take him and leave you all here to rot and let the world go to hell, but unfortunately I have a soul now. So I can’t do shit like that anymore. Not to mention, Xander would kill me if I do that. So, shut up and save as many people as you can.” Buffy pulled him in to a hug.

“I’m sorry it has to be like this.” She whispered before leaving him. Spike walked to the ray of light, hoping Xander wouldn’t notice, but it was already too late. Xander was running towards him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The brunet yelled. Spike took his lover’s face between his hands and kissed him.

“The same thing you would do.” He told the man. “Saving the bloody world.” Xander pulled him closer.

“Fuck, some days I hate being a hero. You know I’m staying with you. Don’t you?” Xander said.

“Yeah I know. I wish you wouldn’t.”

“Don’t worry, Lee. We can do this together.”

They stood in the light clasping at each other while their friends fled the town. It hurt when it happened but it wasn’t as unbearable as Spike thought it would be. After a while the burning stopped and all he felt was warmth.

“I love you, Lex.” And with those words, the two of them burned up, taking the hellmouth with them.       


	14. Chapter 13

So to make this clear I don’t own any thing!!!  
This will be slash (male/Male)   
I’m dyslectic and English isn’t my first language so plz forgive me for mistakes   
I have a beta again yhea  
That’s about all the things you need to know so enjoy.   
Italics= thoughts   
Bold= writing (a book or letter)

Xander woke up in a white room his arms still around the blond.  
“Lee? Are you ok? What’s going on?” Xander asked. Spike sat up.  
“Yeah I’m ok. But I have no idea what’s going on.” Spike responded.   
“Don’t tell us you have forgotten about us William.” A woman’s voice came from behind them. Spike and Xander turned around. The three woman before them looked different from before. The old woman hadn’t changed but the virgin looked older 19 maybe 20. The biggest change was in the mother. She wasn’t pregnant anymore. She was holding a small bundle against her chest. It was she who had spoken. Spike lowers his head.  
“My lady it’s an honor to be in your presents again.” Spike told them. The virgin laughed.  
“Please William this doesn’t serve you. Come sit down. We have a lot to explain. And we have a proposition for you.” She said. Spike and Xander took place in the chairs that appeared together whit the table.  
“Thee?” the old women asked. The boy’s just nodded their head. The woman poured them there drinks before sitting down in front of them together whit the two other women. The virgin started the story.  
“The powers that be have full dominance over earth. No other gods can intervene in their plans for the humans in their care whit out there strict permission.” Xander felt his heart sink.  
“So we always gone be a toy to those powers?” He asked. The mother smiled.  
“No there is one exception.” She explained. “The child of a god and there chosen guardians are of limit for the powers. Many gods have send their offspring to earth. And we feel it’s our turn.” The Woman looked down to the bundle in her arms. A sad look on her face. The old woman laid a hand on her shoulder and started talking.  
“We represent the circle of life. When the mother gives birth her child becomes the virgin she becomes wisdom the virgin becomes the mother and I go back in to the wheel of life. But from the start of this pregnancy we knew something was different. And whit this realization we saw a way to help you. We couldn’t stop the path you’re were already on. But we can stop the powers from ever intervening again.” The old woman ended her story. Looking expectably at the boy’s smiling at the realization in Xander’s eyes. They immediately travel to the child. The mother smiled.  
“His sister is already conceived.” She said. “He will be a great mage someday. And everything he does will be his choice. We want the people raising him to teach them. Not only magic but what it means to be human. We think you two would be perfect. So we ask you. Will you consider of being our son’s parents?” After that she stood up and placed the bundle in Xander’s arms. Xander looked down. The boy had soft brown curls and the bluest eye’s just like Spike’s. However impossible it should be the child looked just like a perfect mix between him and Spike. Xander’s heart skipped a beat. He was in love whit the little one in his arms. Spike looked over his lover shoulder and he knew. This was their son. He embraced Xander.  
“He’s perfect.” He told Xander. Xander smiled and looked back at the mother.  
“We will accept this honor. And we will do our best to raise him.” The mother smiled. The virgin hugged them both.   
“You are gone be wonderful at this. We have another surprise when you get back to your friends and family. But first you need to diced on a name for your son. As soon as you do that we can send you back.” She told them before returning to her place beside the other two women. The two man talked a while before turning to the three woman.   
“We have a name.” The old women nodded.   
“Then we will send you back. But there will be some time past so be careful.” She warned them. After that everything went white again.  
It has been a year since they left Sunnydale. The Scooby gang had transferred to England. Gilles and Ethan had restarted the counsel. Now that the school and the counsel where on track Wesley and Dan had decided to return to LA. Dan was a watcher now. They were send out to start and knew branch of the school in Angel’s hotel. They weren’t the first one leaving and to be fear whit the portal Willow had created they could walk back and forth as much as needed. And still their leaving had hurt Gilles bad. He had managed to keep Scooby’s as close as possible. He had seen Dan as a part of his son just like Willow and Buffy where. And losing him had felt like losing Xander jet again. It had hurt them all when the boy and his lover were lost to them again. At that time Giles had be the strong one. A shoulder for the girls to cry on. But they were moving on whit their life. And now seeing the boy’s best friend leaving. It Schraderd the front he had a put up. Right after sending the two man of he had locked himself in to his office and started on a bottle of whisky. It didn’t took Ethan long to find him. He used his magic to unlock the door and joined his lover. He let the man cry until he was a sobbing mess in Ethan’s arms. That was an hour ago. The Bottle of whiskey was now empty. Ethan hadn’t touched a drop of it. So he was holding a very drunk watcher close to him when a harsh light filled the room. When Ethan gained back his sight he stood in front of his lover dagger in hand ready to defend both of them. His stance faltered when he recognized the figures standing in the middle of the room. Giles who was standing behind him pushed him aside. And before the mage could hold his lover back the watcher was hugging the brunet.  
“My son you’re here. I’m sorry. I didn’t protect you. Please don’t go again.” Giles whimpered. Xander didn’t know what to do or say. He had never seen his father like this. Spike took the baby from him so the brunet was able to hug his father.  
“I’m back. We are staying.” He reassured the man in his arms. Ethan wasn’t sure what was happening. His lover was running their dead son. (No need to denying it any more the boy was as much his son as he was Giles’s.) While the boy’s dead boyfriend was standing beside him holding a baby to his chest.  
“What the hell is going on here?” He jelled. “You get away from him. Ethan was advancing on the Xander look alike intending to pull him away from Gilles when the Spike look alike stopped him.  
“Let them. They both need this” Spike told him. Ethan snorted.  
“Do you really think because you’re wearing their faces I’m gone let you near him? I’m not stupid. And if Rupert wasn’t shit face drunk he would have said the same.” He told the blond.  
“Look hunt. I know how this looks. But I’m not gone let you hurt him over this. So why don’t you use whatever alarm system you have here and call in the rest of the Scooby’s. Because I’m only gone explain this once.” The blond said. Ethan still wasn’t sure about the pair. But he did agree that having some backup wasn’t a bad idea. He walked towards the intercom.  
“Willow, Tara and Buffy. Can you come to Gilles office? Tara please bring the ingredients for a scanning spell.” He glanced back at Gilles. Who was still sobbing in to the brunet’s chest. “And maybe some coffee to.” He added. It took the girls less than five minutes to storm in to the room. Ethan had untangled Gilles from the brunet. And put him on a chair. The Brunet had taken the baby back from the blond. The two of them where whispering. The where smiling at each other just like Spike and Xander used to do. But Ethan wasn’t fooled there was one big mistake these imposters had made. The blond wasn’t just not dead he was alive. Ethan knew vampires and the man standing next to the brunet wasn’t one. He was curios who these intruders where. And why there were wearing the face of his son and his lover. Willow and Tara wasted no time whit he spell. Buffy was sitting whit Gilles feeding him coffee by the gallons. The spell took almost two hours to finish. So Gilles was sober again by the time it was done. He was quit ashamed of his behavior before. But unlike Ethan he was sure the man in his office where indeed his son and lover. Yeah there was something strange going on in the fact that Spike was human. But he knew his son and that boy was him no doubt about it. Willow and Tara sat up disbelieve writhen on their faces. Willow got up and hugged the brunet not unlike Gilles had done a couple hours earlier.  
“You’re back? How? What happened and what whit the Baby?” She asked. Xander placed his hands on the redhead’s shoulders.  
“Calm down Wills. I will explain everything. But can you bring us some food first? And maybe some milk for Harry?” Xander asked her.  
“Harry?” Buffy questioned. Xander smiled and stood up.  
“Let me introduce you to our son. Harrold Jessie Pratt Gilles.” Xander looked a little nervous when he looked at Gilles. “I know it wasn’t official jet when Sunnydale happened. Bu you said I could change my name officially when I wanted. So I hope you don’t mind.” He rambled.  
“Oh my dear boy of course I don’t mind. Can I hold my grandson?” the watcher asked. Xander smiled and handed the baby over to his grandfather. A few hours later after both of the man and their son had eaten Harry was sleeping soundly in his fathers. The baby had been passed around between the Scooby’s during Spike’s and Xander’s explanation. Until the boy got really fussy and the only one who was capable of calming he was Spike. This pleased the blond greatly.  
“There are a few things I still not understand.” Willow said. First why is Spike no longer a vampire?” She said. Xander shrugged.   
“I think that’s the final present he Goddess promised us.” He explained. What ells don’t you understand?”   
“When we did the spell it told us the parentage of the baby. And according to it you both share your DNA whit the boy.” She said. Spike and Xander smiled.   
“Of course he has the Goddess has made him our son not just in name but also in blood.” Spike said. He smiled at the boy in his arms.   
“And now if you don’t mind we like to get some sleep. Do you guys have a room for us and maybe a bed for Harry?” He asked.  
“I think there is a crib on the attic.” Buffy said. And she left the room to return whit it a while later.  
Three months later.   
Xander was dressing Harry blowing the baby’s belly to make the boy laugh when William entered.   
“Hey Lex. Are you guy’s ready?” He asked   
“Yes.” Xander picked the boy up. “We are gone see your uncles Dan and Wesley.” He said while nuzzling the baby’s cheek.   
“Come on the others are waiting for us.” William told the brunet. The two man walked in to Willow’s Office. Where Willow would open the door between the LA and the Scotland based schools. Dan and Wesley had finely moved in together and where holding a house warming party. Xander was really happy whit his life. Every one of the old gang where teachers now. Their school teaches both supernatural and normal lessons for slayers, watchers and magic users. Xander teaches bot energy magic and carpentry. A the moment he only had the twins in the first subject but his carpending class wad one of the most popular in the school. William was teaching fight tactic’s whit Buffy and English. Giles was principal of the Scottish branch of the school. Wesley took that position in the LA branch while Dan teaches home Ed and history. Every staff member had a link to the supernatural so when the girls gat a late night patrol the would be cut some slack. Xander had even set up a daycare and preschool program because the new slayers came at all ages. Some of them had kids. Hell some where kids.   
“What are you thinking?” William asked. Xander smiled.  
“Just how everything worked out. And how happy we are. I just hope I will last.” Xander said. William pulled his lover closer.  
“This time it will.” Spike told him. “So I want to ask you something.” The blond said. Xander turned around looking at his lover.  
“Yes?”   
“I was thinking. Do you want to remarried me? You know in front of all or friend and family.” He asked. Xander smiled and pulled the blond in a tight embrace.  
“Yes! I would love to.” He screamed. “Come on let’s go tell the girls. They gone want to plan the whole thing.” He told William. They took each other’s hands and entered the living room. Where there friends were waiting.   
THE END!!!  
Yeah its finished. My first finished story ever. I want to thank you all and special thanks to my beta who was very patient whit me and took out the mistakes I made.  
Also thanks to:   
Foxgodess07  
Blood87  
Amuto1  
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Jebeth  
Jgood27  
N.ED.CL.1  
Heal  
Rein  
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DFect1ve  
Kemet’s Queen  
Music909  
Forsaken2003  
Kat Riddle  
Your reviews kept me going. And I’m glad you stood whit me. And didn’t give up on me because it took me really long to update.


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